You all know that the hubby and I owned a Jeep Wrangler for the past few years right? The hubby LOVES the ride of the Wranglers, the feel of the transmission (yes, I drive a stick too) and all the bounces and bumps that go along with the sunburn gleaned from the top being down. I am less than enamored of Jeeps. He had one when we were pregnant with our first girl so I’ve been preggo in a Jeep before. Newsflash, the ride of the Jeep does not improve with pregnancy. He never understood that when you took the top down it did not get cooler, it was just as freaking hot but then you get the pleasure of a sun burn too. Awesome right? So the hubster works 80 miles away. The gas mileage on a Jeep (conservatively) is 15-18 mpg. He couldn’t very well use it as his daily driver so I did, I only work 10 miles from the homestead. I hate Jeep Wranglers (when I say “Jeep”, Wranglers are what I’m talking about). The ride sucks balls, you feel every bump, groove, pebble, and lord forbid it’s even windy. It’s like parasailing down the road. Incliment weather? Freaking nightmare. If someone has watered their lawn and the asphalt is wet you’re very likely to spin out or at least do a 180 turning the corner. You don’t know how much torque those stupid things have or how light they are until you’ve done a full 360 on a clear summer day after someone over watered their lawn. I’ve driven trucks all my life, even in the snow. I know about light rear ends. The Jeep though? Whole nother exercise in squirrelly. Hated it. The interior is nothing to brag about either. The back seat ddn’t even have head rests so the kid’s booster HAD to be a high back. Couldn’t fit groceries in it. Don’t even talk to me about a Costco run. The most impractical mom car short of a 2 door sports car. The doors, seats, and windshield were all removable. The only practical thing it did was have plugs in the floor boards for when it got too much water in the interior or alternatively, you wanted to hose the interior down.
I owned/was primary driver of the white elephant for 2 years. When we first bought it (used) the a/c was busted and we had to take it in 5 times, FIVE TIMES, to get it working again. It busted one more time just before the warranty ran out a year later. Jeep, gotta love their quality. The check engine light never turned off. Never affected the drivability though so I figured it was a busted sensor and left it be. Other than that it ran fine. Sucked up gas like you would not believe, had insane interior noise (to be expected), drove like a prom queen on crack (agile but squirrelly unpredictable), and was completely impractical for driving any further than 10 miles or so. You don’t even want to know how much it cost to fill the tank. Disturbing really for what you got out of it. My friends pimpin minivan that I got to borrow cost the same to fill up. You know, the minivan that seated 7 and had all the bells and whistles? Like a/c, back up camera, satellite tv, dvd player, Sirius radio (emphasis on a/c)? Yeah that was one nice ride. And it cost the same to operate as the Jeep. Crying freaking shame…
So one day end of summer 2010 the a/c in the Jeep from Hell stopped working. I t was the end of summer so I just put off dealing with it until 2011. Assuming that it had already been a year of trying so the chances of being pregnant summer 2011 was a pipe dream. Yeah go figure right? So summer of 2011 comes right on the heels of spring. A 2 long week spring. Triple digit heat starting in APRIL. With no signs of relenting until winter 2012. Maybe. This was at what, month 5 or 6 of this pregnancy? Oh yeah, I was way excited for high summer to show up. WAY EXCITED. The hubby thought I was being overly dramatic. His solution was for me to suck it up and take the windows off. You know women in Africa survive pregnancies without a/c all the time. Right? I DON’T LIVE IN AFRICA. I’m not in a third world country, I have a fucking college degree and make a damn good paycheck. I don’t understand why I can’t have a/c in my car. I told him what he could suck and went on The Car Buying Adventure of 2011. I won’t bore you the details of what was needed for this adventure. Needless to say it was more convoluted than most people’s car buying fun. Emphasis on fun. I so had my shit together that I’d just find a dealership that could work with me (3 in San Antonio) and fax them EVERYTHING they could possibly need. Including paperwork from our lawyer (I won’t bore you with the ‘why’ details, just realize it took a bit more for us to do this than your average Joe). After 1.5 months I finally FINALLY found a sales guy that helped get what I needed. And once he found a car that fit within the parameters we needed we spent 1 day organizing the deal and got rid of that damned Jeep from Hell.
That was April 30th. Yesterday I got a Texas Tollroad bill. For the Jeep. For mid May. In Austin. Yeah, that wasn’t me and I’m so glad it wasn’t me. Mid May was just as hot as mid April and I’m sure the dealership boys that were joy riding in our old Jeep were sweating bullets while cruising through those toll roads. I seriously doubt they got the a/c fixed and the tires replaced in the 2 weeks they had it so that’s why I’m sure it was dealership guys playing in it. Really, the Jeep is a toy and the only reason to own one is if you have the luxury of having a spare ‘play’ car. Pfftt, no thanks I’ll get a 2 door sports car or a motorcycle! I called the dealership after calling the toll road people. They’re taking care of the necessary paperwork to get the registered to history figured out. I’m sure they’ve seen this all before right? They just have a limited number of joy ride cars so they don’t normally have to switch the registration out until it’s been sold. Or heck, maybe it did sell and the paperwork hasn’t gone through yet. Plausible but not likely with the a/c busted and nothing but triple digit heat out here. Christ Texas is hot…I love my Accord better than anyone else has ever loved a car. Ever. It has awesome a/c, a real top to keep the a/c in, an automatic tranny (carpel tunnel hurts way worse when driving a 6 speed, swollen), a trunk, a back seat with 3 seat belts and head rests. Gas mileage? Yes, it has that too, ah the list goes on….
Sunday, June 19, 2011
Thursday, May 26, 2011
Stressing
It’s about that time. Well into trimester 3, starting to feel less than comfy in my ‘on loan’ body. I’m destined to get it back (not in the same shape it was before but I knew that from the get go) and the countdown is on. For the first 6-7 months I could almost ignore the fact that I was gestating. This pregnancy, thankfully, has been much easier than my first a decade ago. Makes no sense, I’m scary close to 40yrs of age so it should be harder now. Oddly not so but you won’t hear me complaining! Still I knew the time would come, the end of the (estimated) 40 weeks will bring the inevitable, you know, fully cooked human child.
I know many have that ‘nesting’ instinct thing come about. Mine isn’t so much a nesting instinct as it is the “Shit, what do I need again?” question that keeps repeating itself. New babies, toddlers, children in general come with a need for a lot of ‘stuff’. When you have your first child much of it comes to you via baby showers. And I mean you normally end up with a lot. This stuff should be of use for future children since normal people have 1-3 years between kids. Normal people. Too bad I’ve never been even remotely close to that classification. We got a lot of stuff when we had our first kid. Enough to know what was needed and what was just fluff after we were done with it. Also what was poor quality (brand wise that is) and where quality must be had. Stay the hell away from Graco strollers, they're trash.
The good news, I’m not a first time mom. I know what I absolutely must have and what I can live without. More good news, newborns need 3 things, a car seat, a boob and diapers. The rest can be collected later. It’s nice to have a few other things like receiving blankets and burp cloths but really, the main 3 will do ya. Needless to say I have just about nothing from my first kid’s baby days. It’s been almost a decade and we’ve moved I don’t know how many bazillion times, that stuff is looong gone. All I have left is some heirloom stuff that will be used of course. My gf threw a baby shower for me and it was wonderful. A small bunch of moms who had no intentions whatsoever of bringing their children and every intention of drinking alcohol. I don’t think the baby was even mentioned throughout. Perfection right? *side note, I'm one of those women that can't stand showers, baby, bridal, whatever, and weddings too, hate 'em* I think the main thing we came up with was a need to have a girl’s night out once a month. Moms need to do this more don’t you think?
Back to my main point though, L&D day is coming at a relatively quick clip. I need to get my stuff together and have it all ready just in case baby makes an early surprise appearance. Do I expect it? No, I’m pretty good about keeping baby in until she’s done cookin’. My first came at 39 weeks though and since I’m getting pretty regular level 2 ultrasounds I understand this baby is bigger than my first. I’m not that big a person (5’) and with my first I think my body had just reached max capacity at 39 weeks. If this one is bigger then I don’t know when my body will decide to give the little bugger the boot. Anything after 32 weeks is game so 32 weeks (this Saturday) is my countdown time. It’s when I need to make sure I’m prepared for imminent baby arrival.
Of course no one is really prepared but I’m talking like washing all of the clothes and diapers (oh yeah, we’re going cloth this time around) and car seat covers, receiving blankets, the stuff from the baby shower needs to be unpackaged. Oh yeah, I’m so not on it yet. My meeting with the possible doula isn’t until June 11th, sheesh! That’s not my fault though, she’s going on vacation before then. We have toured the L&D stuff at the hospital though so at least I’ve done the admission paperwork and we both know where I need to go come explosion time. I still need to pack a hospital bag but I doubt I’ll even bother to do that until I’m in active labor. Don’t make fun, it’s the way I roll. Some things will always be a last minute thing for me. I may have a written list of what I need but it won’t go in a bag until it has to.
I already had my maternity photos done and let me tell you, it was incredibly awesome. Last weekend we have friends from San Diego who now live in Plano come down to do the shoot. They have their own photography business CLM Creative, and I just could not ask for anything more. We spent the morning going to buy props (Mona had a particular theme in mind) and then the afternoon doing the photos. By the end of the day we were all blown but it was so much fun! We had planned this so I wasn’t so far along that I looked huge, bloated, and swollen and the kid was still in town. Our kid goes to San Diego every summer, she’s 25% Cali 75% Texan, but not until schools out. Next week. Yeah we cut it close but it all worked out. Once I get permission from my friends I have a few pics I can show you. They haven’t all been processed yet though so patience.
So the pics are done, the hospital toured, I’m assuming I can lactate (been there done that), I have the bucket car seat (I still need to get another one she can grow into), and I have the diapers (Fuzzi Bunz smalls, prefold newborns). Just need to do several loads of laundry to prep them and all will be good. Never really been good with the housework though so we’ll see about that laundry.
Wish me luck! I’m so going to need it…
Oh and you'll notice I never once mentioned being stressed about labor or a successful VBAC. I've done labor before, I know how it feels. 20 hours of it in fact. Just because it ended in a c-section doesn't mean I didn't get the pleasure of experiencing labor for 20 hours. And thing to note, labor ain't got nothing on an aneurysm as far as pain is concerned. My scale of 0-10 in terms of pain is not like yours, full labor to me rates around 7-8. Brain exploding? Now that's closer to a 10 and until you reach unconciousness (not an easy peasy epidural) you'll feel every bit of that pain. Yeah labor, you don't scare me.
I know many have that ‘nesting’ instinct thing come about. Mine isn’t so much a nesting instinct as it is the “Shit, what do I need again?” question that keeps repeating itself. New babies, toddlers, children in general come with a need for a lot of ‘stuff’. When you have your first child much of it comes to you via baby showers. And I mean you normally end up with a lot. This stuff should be of use for future children since normal people have 1-3 years between kids. Normal people. Too bad I’ve never been even remotely close to that classification. We got a lot of stuff when we had our first kid. Enough to know what was needed and what was just fluff after we were done with it. Also what was poor quality (brand wise that is) and where quality must be had. Stay the hell away from Graco strollers, they're trash.
The good news, I’m not a first time mom. I know what I absolutely must have and what I can live without. More good news, newborns need 3 things, a car seat, a boob and diapers. The rest can be collected later. It’s nice to have a few other things like receiving blankets and burp cloths but really, the main 3 will do ya. Needless to say I have just about nothing from my first kid’s baby days. It’s been almost a decade and we’ve moved I don’t know how many bazillion times, that stuff is looong gone. All I have left is some heirloom stuff that will be used of course. My gf threw a baby shower for me and it was wonderful. A small bunch of moms who had no intentions whatsoever of bringing their children and every intention of drinking alcohol. I don’t think the baby was even mentioned throughout. Perfection right? *side note, I'm one of those women that can't stand showers, baby, bridal, whatever, and weddings too, hate 'em* I think the main thing we came up with was a need to have a girl’s night out once a month. Moms need to do this more don’t you think?
Back to my main point though, L&D day is coming at a relatively quick clip. I need to get my stuff together and have it all ready just in case baby makes an early surprise appearance. Do I expect it? No, I’m pretty good about keeping baby in until she’s done cookin’. My first came at 39 weeks though and since I’m getting pretty regular level 2 ultrasounds I understand this baby is bigger than my first. I’m not that big a person (5’) and with my first I think my body had just reached max capacity at 39 weeks. If this one is bigger then I don’t know when my body will decide to give the little bugger the boot. Anything after 32 weeks is game so 32 weeks (this Saturday) is my countdown time. It’s when I need to make sure I’m prepared for imminent baby arrival.
Of course no one is really prepared but I’m talking like washing all of the clothes and diapers (oh yeah, we’re going cloth this time around) and car seat covers, receiving blankets, the stuff from the baby shower needs to be unpackaged. Oh yeah, I’m so not on it yet. My meeting with the possible doula isn’t until June 11th, sheesh! That’s not my fault though, she’s going on vacation before then. We have toured the L&D stuff at the hospital though so at least I’ve done the admission paperwork and we both know where I need to go come explosion time. I still need to pack a hospital bag but I doubt I’ll even bother to do that until I’m in active labor. Don’t make fun, it’s the way I roll. Some things will always be a last minute thing for me. I may have a written list of what I need but it won’t go in a bag until it has to.
I already had my maternity photos done and let me tell you, it was incredibly awesome. Last weekend we have friends from San Diego who now live in Plano come down to do the shoot. They have their own photography business CLM Creative, and I just could not ask for anything more. We spent the morning going to buy props (Mona had a particular theme in mind) and then the afternoon doing the photos. By the end of the day we were all blown but it was so much fun! We had planned this so I wasn’t so far along that I looked huge, bloated, and swollen and the kid was still in town. Our kid goes to San Diego every summer, she’s 25% Cali 75% Texan, but not until schools out. Next week. Yeah we cut it close but it all worked out. Once I get permission from my friends I have a few pics I can show you. They haven’t all been processed yet though so patience.
So the pics are done, the hospital toured, I’m assuming I can lactate (been there done that), I have the bucket car seat (I still need to get another one she can grow into), and I have the diapers (Fuzzi Bunz smalls, prefold newborns). Just need to do several loads of laundry to prep them and all will be good. Never really been good with the housework though so we’ll see about that laundry.
Wish me luck! I’m so going to need it…
Oh and you'll notice I never once mentioned being stressed about labor or a successful VBAC. I've done labor before, I know how it feels. 20 hours of it in fact. Just because it ended in a c-section doesn't mean I didn't get the pleasure of experiencing labor for 20 hours. And thing to note, labor ain't got nothing on an aneurysm as far as pain is concerned. My scale of 0-10 in terms of pain is not like yours, full labor to me rates around 7-8. Brain exploding? Now that's closer to a 10 and until you reach unconciousness (not an easy peasy epidural) you'll feel every bit of that pain. Yeah labor, you don't scare me.
Wednesday, April 27, 2011
The 'pretty' stage
Really I didn't know pregnancy had one but apparently I didn't pay enough attention last time around. Well, last time around I was at a miserable point in my relationship with my now hubby (not then mind you, we were 'just playin' then) so that could account for it. I am almost 28 weeks right now, the start of the dreaded third trimester. This week I have been approached by so many people (half of which are total strangers) that practically squeel in delight when the see me. It really is the oddest thing.
I went into a scrubs store (hospital scrubs, I wear them at work) in search of those slip on nursing shoes. I am no longer able to comfortably lace my tennies so slip ons (with a back, not straight up clogs) were in order. They're all european strange ass sizes and my feet are widening as we speak so I can't just order blindly off the internet. The woman working there, her face lit up when she saw me. I was wearing my maternity scrubs and she just thought it was tooo cute how they looked on me. I think there are a lot of severely overweight people in San Antonio (ok I know there are) and many don't wear pregnancy well. In fact, it's often hard to tell some pregnant women are pregnant or just carrying their excessive weight really badly. I may have started out a little ahead of where I wanted to be weight wise but I only gained 10lbs in 6 months so I think I made up for it. Regardless, there's no mistaking my preggo belly for fat. I am just all in front belly. I remember this with my first pregnancy, it's all sticking out there, no hiding my pregnancies at all.
So far this week I've had no less than 3 people think I'm due like right now. I tell them no, 3 more months and they give me this look of horror. It's what I'm feeling inside, trust me, I've been to this rodeo before and it's not a pretty fall. I get dang big. It's almost all belly though and while that's a good thing it's a damn big belly. I have to practically carry the sucker around and almost treat it as a separate entity. It's impressive...
I'm very happy there is a cute stage to this pregnancy though. Random people I pass by tell me how pretty I am and others just light up with smiles. I'm not much of a warm fuzzy approachable person so it's very foreign but I don't mind. Making people smile is a good thing right? I'm having professional pictures taken by some friends of mine in 3 weeks or so. Lets hope the cute hasn't morphed into the massive and uncomfible by then. Baby is growing fast (she doubled in size in the last 4 weeks) and the weather is getting hot. Triple digits yesterday. Ah Texas, the swelling you will make me go through...
Wish me luck in the photo shoot, nothing like having pics done when you're almost twice your regular mass huh?
I went into a scrubs store (hospital scrubs, I wear them at work) in search of those slip on nursing shoes. I am no longer able to comfortably lace my tennies so slip ons (with a back, not straight up clogs) were in order. They're all european strange ass sizes and my feet are widening as we speak so I can't just order blindly off the internet. The woman working there, her face lit up when she saw me. I was wearing my maternity scrubs and she just thought it was tooo cute how they looked on me. I think there are a lot of severely overweight people in San Antonio (ok I know there are) and many don't wear pregnancy well. In fact, it's often hard to tell some pregnant women are pregnant or just carrying their excessive weight really badly. I may have started out a little ahead of where I wanted to be weight wise but I only gained 10lbs in 6 months so I think I made up for it. Regardless, there's no mistaking my preggo belly for fat. I am just all in front belly. I remember this with my first pregnancy, it's all sticking out there, no hiding my pregnancies at all.
So far this week I've had no less than 3 people think I'm due like right now. I tell them no, 3 more months and they give me this look of horror. It's what I'm feeling inside, trust me, I've been to this rodeo before and it's not a pretty fall. I get dang big. It's almost all belly though and while that's a good thing it's a damn big belly. I have to practically carry the sucker around and almost treat it as a separate entity. It's impressive...
I'm very happy there is a cute stage to this pregnancy though. Random people I pass by tell me how pretty I am and others just light up with smiles. I'm not much of a warm fuzzy approachable person so it's very foreign but I don't mind. Making people smile is a good thing right? I'm having professional pictures taken by some friends of mine in 3 weeks or so. Lets hope the cute hasn't morphed into the massive and uncomfible by then. Baby is growing fast (she doubled in size in the last 4 weeks) and the weather is getting hot. Triple digits yesterday. Ah Texas, the swelling you will make me go through...
Wish me luck in the photo shoot, nothing like having pics done when you're almost twice your regular mass huh?
Friday, April 8, 2011
Testarossas are less impressive
Texas is hot right now. 90 degrees today and I'm less than 1 week shy of 6 months pregnant. Now mind you this is Texas, we're used to heat any time of year and early April is no surprise. Every building is air conditioned unlike in San Diego where schools and companies have to close every summer because 'it doesn't get that hot in San Diego'. It didn't used to, just now that EVERYONE moved there. Regardless, I totally worship the gods of a/c. Let me mention though that they have abandoned me. Well ok, they abandoned my car. Yes, if there was a less appropriate car on the face of the earth for a pregnant woman than my Jeep I'd be surprised. 6 speed manual transmission soft top no step bars no a/c. It's miserable and I'm going to hurt myself sometime in the, most probably, very near future. I've started the process of trading it in but for reasons I won't bore you with it's a big complicated fun for all. Not.
This week I knew was going to be bad, weather report said it'd be in the upper 90's for Thursday and Friday. I was getting DESPERATE. Lucky for me I have some of the most incredibly sweet and generous friends in the world. My friend Trudy is a medical sales rep, she has a company car she uses during the week and her minivan sits idle on weekdays. She's the mother of 5 yes 5 children so her minivan can seat every one in the family. I never really looked at it because I don't know about everyone else but all minivans look the same to me. I asked her last week if I could borrow it for the 2 hot days (Thurs&Fri) and she generously handed over the keys to her kid mover.
Holy crap I swear I got powned by a minivan that night. The key alone had 7 buttons and a dial on it. A dial? WTF do you need a dial on a key for? I never figured it out. I know one was unlock, the other lock. Two were to open the side doors remotely (side doors on each side). I was told one other was a remote start. Not sure what the last button was but I was afraid to delve too deeply into investigative mode. I didn't want to alter something and not know what it was. It was a damn big vehicle, I could have changed something and never known. BTW it was a Dodge Caravan of some upper level. I think it cost more than I earn yearly. I texted Trudy the next day to ask her if there were any options missing from the van. She must have walked into the dealership and just said 'put every option known to God on it, I want everything'. It has GPS, Sirius radio, satellite tv/DVD player, that phone through the radio thingy, reverse camera (loved this), and several buttons I don't know what they did. I never figured out how to open the side slide doors to let the kid out when dropping her off at school. We had to turn the car off, open the door, then turn it back on. What can I say, it was 10% smarter and I fully admit defeat. Hey I still got her to school right?
Interesting though, some friend of mine mentioned that my cool factor had tomhave gone down. I went from the hawt momma in a Wrangker (other local hood moms have told me they envy me the Jeep, nutty women) to just another fatty in a minivan. Sad but true. It had every seat in back occupied by a car seat (Trudy has 5 kids remember) and if the windows weren't tinted I'd have felt the need to put one of those magnets on the side that says 'no I'm not a Dugger'. The really sad part is though, I could care less. I think it had less to do with the fact that I'm older than the fact that at this stage in pregnancy I don't give a rats ass what I'm driving, if it has a/c it's the most wonderful car in the whole wide world. All the bells and whistles (and this van had quite a few) were totally lost on me. I just cranked the a/c and enjoyed the lack of heat. Ah the simple things in life....
There's someplace very special in heaven for Trudy, seriously she saved my ass this week. Even though the gas is insane and the hubby works 80 miles away we may be at the point where he takes the Jeep to work. It gets 15-18 mpg so it's going to be awful but there's no way I'm going to be able to hack no a/c in the heat with baby inside me. Not plausible. When the mother in law comes out in July when the baby is born she's bringing her old car (she's buying herself a new Lexus) and letting us have it. It's old but it has a/c, I could care less about old. At which point if we're still stuck with the Jeep it'll just be the extra vehicle. Lordy but do I hate that Jeep, I do not see what the hubby loves so much about them. Top down does not, under any circumstances, equal a/c.
This week I knew was going to be bad, weather report said it'd be in the upper 90's for Thursday and Friday. I was getting DESPERATE. Lucky for me I have some of the most incredibly sweet and generous friends in the world. My friend Trudy is a medical sales rep, she has a company car she uses during the week and her minivan sits idle on weekdays. She's the mother of 5 yes 5 children so her minivan can seat every one in the family. I never really looked at it because I don't know about everyone else but all minivans look the same to me. I asked her last week if I could borrow it for the 2 hot days (Thurs&Fri) and she generously handed over the keys to her kid mover.
Holy crap I swear I got powned by a minivan that night. The key alone had 7 buttons and a dial on it. A dial? WTF do you need a dial on a key for? I never figured it out. I know one was unlock, the other lock. Two were to open the side doors remotely (side doors on each side). I was told one other was a remote start. Not sure what the last button was but I was afraid to delve too deeply into investigative mode. I didn't want to alter something and not know what it was. It was a damn big vehicle, I could have changed something and never known. BTW it was a Dodge Caravan of some upper level. I think it cost more than I earn yearly. I texted Trudy the next day to ask her if there were any options missing from the van. She must have walked into the dealership and just said 'put every option known to God on it, I want everything'. It has GPS, Sirius radio, satellite tv/DVD player, that phone through the radio thingy, reverse camera (loved this), and several buttons I don't know what they did. I never figured out how to open the side slide doors to let the kid out when dropping her off at school. We had to turn the car off, open the door, then turn it back on. What can I say, it was 10% smarter and I fully admit defeat. Hey I still got her to school right?
Interesting though, some friend of mine mentioned that my cool factor had tomhave gone down. I went from the hawt momma in a Wrangker (other local hood moms have told me they envy me the Jeep, nutty women) to just another fatty in a minivan. Sad but true. It had every seat in back occupied by a car seat (Trudy has 5 kids remember) and if the windows weren't tinted I'd have felt the need to put one of those magnets on the side that says 'no I'm not a Dugger'. The really sad part is though, I could care less. I think it had less to do with the fact that I'm older than the fact that at this stage in pregnancy I don't give a rats ass what I'm driving, if it has a/c it's the most wonderful car in the whole wide world. All the bells and whistles (and this van had quite a few) were totally lost on me. I just cranked the a/c and enjoyed the lack of heat. Ah the simple things in life....
There's someplace very special in heaven for Trudy, seriously she saved my ass this week. Even though the gas is insane and the hubby works 80 miles away we may be at the point where he takes the Jeep to work. It gets 15-18 mpg so it's going to be awful but there's no way I'm going to be able to hack no a/c in the heat with baby inside me. Not plausible. When the mother in law comes out in July when the baby is born she's bringing her old car (she's buying herself a new Lexus) and letting us have it. It's old but it has a/c, I could care less about old. At which point if we're still stuck with the Jeep it'll just be the extra vehicle. Lordy but do I hate that Jeep, I do not see what the hubby loves so much about them. Top down does not, under any circumstances, equal a/c.
Monday, March 28, 2011
Excessive obsessive
With the impending birth of the second 'only' child (yes, if you have a decade between your children they are both onlies, sibling rivalry is odd with that time span) I have been researching stuff. And by stuff I mean hardware. You would not believe the things they have out there for parents to throw their money at like it's growing on trees. There are parenting websites that have specific sections dedicated to crap. Stuff that's just ridiculous and no one needs. Apparently not only is there a sucker born everyday but there are just a few more breeding too. Since this is not my first child I do have some experience with some hardware so I knew where my research would begin.
I am very well known as a car seat safety freak. I'm totally obsessive with it and the hubby used to blow me off until he figured out is was way easier to just keep me placated with following my lead and letting me get the type of car seat I thought necessary. And go to the car seat safety inspection clinic to have them show us how to properly install a car seat. Something like 90+% of all car seats in the US are installed incorrectly. I have a friend who is registered with SafeKids.org, she runs car seat installation clinics through children's hospital in San Diego. She's the only other person I know that is just as crazy as me about car seats, if not more. I contacted her first about where to start my search. The question was answered exactly how I needed it answered "If I were to need a new car seat for my new baby right now I'd get a .." and I think the phone conversation last somewhere between 2 and 3 hours. Yup, it's bad.
For simplicity sakes I'll tell y'all this, if you need a car seat get a European one. The brand she suggested as being the best all around was Radian (Sunshine Kids) because the seat can go from rear facing to front and the weight range is 5lbs-80lbs on some models. If I wanted a bucket seat (infants only) then go with the Chicco Key fit. I won't bore y'all with the details of the rest of the phone conversation, I know not every one is as obsessive as me about car seats.
Here's the deal though, I am also buying a stroller yes? The hubby prefers baby wearing and he used the Bjorn last time around. I had a c-section and there was no way my back could take the strain of the Bjorn. This time around I'm planning, just in case, that I will have the same issue. So I did some research on baby carriers and decided on the Ergo would be a better choice. The hubby is skeptical but he always is, change is not always a good thing in his book and the Bjorn worked fine for him last time. My back can't take it though so he was game. Also we lucked out. Costco had them for sale for $79.99, it's regular retail is something like $115. I was all over that, but back to that stroller car seat thing...
When we had the first kid we did the same thing most new parents do and registered a Graco travel system thingy thinking that it was the most practical, had everything we needed and it all matched. Lame. Graco is trash, totally disposable plastic that fell apart very quickly. I also found I'm not a huge fan of the bucket car seat that snaps into a high stroller. It's top heavy and easy to knock over. With your infant in it. Not cool. I am going to make a wild assumption here though and point out that this may not be true of all travel systems and there could be ones out there with a better design. Of course this would translate to more expensive though right? Right. On to the insane price of strollers and infant car seats....
Fair warning here childless ones, this synapsis of strollers may send you into a cardiac arrest. There are strollers and car seats that, by themselves, will rival your mortgage payment. Maybe even your mortgage and car payment combined. No shit. And don't get me wrong, I'm sure these products are very nice products but really, why put so much money into something that you really just aren't going to use that much? The Ergo carrier I had no problem spending $80 on. I know for a proven fact that this child will practically live in it. The hubby will probably even wear her inside the house in it. It's easier than carrying a baby in your arms because you don't have to keep picking them up and down, they're just a part of your torso. The stroller, eh, I'll probably be the one using it most. After 9 months of being mama alien and the subsequent birth I just do not have the physical strength left to carry the baby around. I just can't. This is why the hubby and I are at odds about the stroller. He's not going to use it much. I am. Here began the hunt for the practical stroller...
First, we owned 3 strollers with the first child. The pos Graco that quickly fell apart, the jogging stroller whose front wheel was never true and so it constantly steered left, and the Zooper which was like an expensive umbrella stroller. The Zooper was ok but only when the kid was at toddler/past 6 months stage. I want something that will take us from infant through to 4 years. After that I expect the kid to be running around. I am not the mom with the 7 year old in a stroller with their legs dragging behind them. That's so lame.
Have you seen the high dollar strollers they have out there? WHOA. These ones are just plain old singles, there are more expensive models too...
Baby Jogger, high end $499 (this one is cheap)
Bumbleride Queen B $599 (I love this one)
Bugaboo Chameleon $879 (another fav of mine)
Orbit Baby $750 (WTF?)
Peg Perego Skate $699.99
Phil & Ted's Vibe (apparently this one is super trendy, I don't get it) $699.99
Stokke Xplory Basic $849.99 (Basic? I swear it looks like you're only getting a partial stroller for $850)
Teutonia Chassis T 250 $500 (this is just the chassis for $500 ?!)
Uppa Baby Vista $699 (I like these models that come with a bassinet)
Note, most of these images and prices came from Albeebaby.com, you can probably get a better price somewhere. Like China.
Now here's the deal, these are nice strollers. Many come with attachments (for a price) that will connect some models of infant car seats to the frame of the stroller. That way you can either put the car seat in, put the baby in the bassinet, or when they get older attach the toddler seat in. This is really nifty but not necessary in my book. I'd love all those features but really, $600 + ? Dude really? I have found some that are less. I like the Maxi Cosi Foray and if you get it from Albeebaby.com it comes as a travel system with the infant car seat for $309.99. Now keep in mind that the Maxi Cosi car seat alone is $130. I haven't even gotten into the cost of these car seats yet have I? Maybe later, suffice to say the one I want is under $300. Barely...
There are a few things I'm looking for in a stroller, I really would like air filled tires. I know it doesn't make a difference to most people but I have carpel tunnel after my 7th month of pregnancy. It hurts. The less vibration I get from stroller tires the less pain I have. And how much is the lessening of pain worth to me? A lot. Maybe not $600 but possibly $300. I'd like to only buy one stroller. I want one that isn't going to fall apart after 6 uses. I want one that will last from infant through 4 years. Ultimately this is asking a lot, I know. And really the only ones that fit within these parameters are the stupid expensive ones. My answer to this conundrum? Craig's List. Used is totally acceptable to me. I found the perfect stroller but when I was supposed to pick it up the guy told me he sold it to someone else. Yes, I had talked to him 3 days prior and we had set up a meet day but I guess he was just an ass hole. Craig's List, sadly, has lots of them. I have a few months yet though so I continue to look. Wish me luck with the putzes that show up on CL....
I am very well known as a car seat safety freak. I'm totally obsessive with it and the hubby used to blow me off until he figured out is was way easier to just keep me placated with following my lead and letting me get the type of car seat I thought necessary. And go to the car seat safety inspection clinic to have them show us how to properly install a car seat. Something like 90+% of all car seats in the US are installed incorrectly. I have a friend who is registered with SafeKids.org, she runs car seat installation clinics through children's hospital in San Diego. She's the only other person I know that is just as crazy as me about car seats, if not more. I contacted her first about where to start my search. The question was answered exactly how I needed it answered "If I were to need a new car seat for my new baby right now I'd get a .." and I think the phone conversation last somewhere between 2 and 3 hours. Yup, it's bad.
For simplicity sakes I'll tell y'all this, if you need a car seat get a European one. The brand she suggested as being the best all around was Radian (Sunshine Kids) because the seat can go from rear facing to front and the weight range is 5lbs-80lbs on some models. If I wanted a bucket seat (infants only) then go with the Chicco Key fit. I won't bore y'all with the details of the rest of the phone conversation, I know not every one is as obsessive as me about car seats.
Here's the deal though, I am also buying a stroller yes? The hubby prefers baby wearing and he used the Bjorn last time around. I had a c-section and there was no way my back could take the strain of the Bjorn. This time around I'm planning, just in case, that I will have the same issue. So I did some research on baby carriers and decided on the Ergo would be a better choice. The hubby is skeptical but he always is, change is not always a good thing in his book and the Bjorn worked fine for him last time. My back can't take it though so he was game. Also we lucked out. Costco had them for sale for $79.99, it's regular retail is something like $115. I was all over that, but back to that stroller car seat thing...
When we had the first kid we did the same thing most new parents do and registered a Graco travel system thingy thinking that it was the most practical, had everything we needed and it all matched. Lame. Graco is trash, totally disposable plastic that fell apart very quickly. I also found I'm not a huge fan of the bucket car seat that snaps into a high stroller. It's top heavy and easy to knock over. With your infant in it. Not cool. I am going to make a wild assumption here though and point out that this may not be true of all travel systems and there could be ones out there with a better design. Of course this would translate to more expensive though right? Right. On to the insane price of strollers and infant car seats....
Fair warning here childless ones, this synapsis of strollers may send you into a cardiac arrest. There are strollers and car seats that, by themselves, will rival your mortgage payment. Maybe even your mortgage and car payment combined. No shit. And don't get me wrong, I'm sure these products are very nice products but really, why put so much money into something that you really just aren't going to use that much? The Ergo carrier I had no problem spending $80 on. I know for a proven fact that this child will practically live in it. The hubby will probably even wear her inside the house in it. It's easier than carrying a baby in your arms because you don't have to keep picking them up and down, they're just a part of your torso. The stroller, eh, I'll probably be the one using it most. After 9 months of being mama alien and the subsequent birth I just do not have the physical strength left to carry the baby around. I just can't. This is why the hubby and I are at odds about the stroller. He's not going to use it much. I am. Here began the hunt for the practical stroller...
First, we owned 3 strollers with the first child. The pos Graco that quickly fell apart, the jogging stroller whose front wheel was never true and so it constantly steered left, and the Zooper which was like an expensive umbrella stroller. The Zooper was ok but only when the kid was at toddler/past 6 months stage. I want something that will take us from infant through to 4 years. After that I expect the kid to be running around. I am not the mom with the 7 year old in a stroller with their legs dragging behind them. That's so lame.
Have you seen the high dollar strollers they have out there? WHOA. These ones are just plain old singles, there are more expensive models too...
Baby Jogger, high end $499 (this one is cheap)
Bumbleride Queen B $599 (I love this one)
Bugaboo Chameleon $879 (another fav of mine)
Orbit Baby $750 (WTF?)
Peg Perego Skate $699.99
Phil & Ted's Vibe (apparently this one is super trendy, I don't get it) $699.99
Stokke Xplory Basic $849.99 (Basic? I swear it looks like you're only getting a partial stroller for $850)
Teutonia Chassis T 250 $500 (this is just the chassis for $500 ?!)
Uppa Baby Vista $699 (I like these models that come with a bassinet)
Note, most of these images and prices came from Albeebaby.com, you can probably get a better price somewhere. Like China.
Now here's the deal, these are nice strollers. Many come with attachments (for a price) that will connect some models of infant car seats to the frame of the stroller. That way you can either put the car seat in, put the baby in the bassinet, or when they get older attach the toddler seat in. This is really nifty but not necessary in my book. I'd love all those features but really, $600 + ? Dude really? I have found some that are less. I like the Maxi Cosi Foray and if you get it from Albeebaby.com it comes as a travel system with the infant car seat for $309.99. Now keep in mind that the Maxi Cosi car seat alone is $130. I haven't even gotten into the cost of these car seats yet have I? Maybe later, suffice to say the one I want is under $300. Barely...
There are a few things I'm looking for in a stroller, I really would like air filled tires. I know it doesn't make a difference to most people but I have carpel tunnel after my 7th month of pregnancy. It hurts. The less vibration I get from stroller tires the less pain I have. And how much is the lessening of pain worth to me? A lot. Maybe not $600 but possibly $300. I'd like to only buy one stroller. I want one that isn't going to fall apart after 6 uses. I want one that will last from infant through 4 years. Ultimately this is asking a lot, I know. And really the only ones that fit within these parameters are the stupid expensive ones. My answer to this conundrum? Craig's List. Used is totally acceptable to me. I found the perfect stroller but when I was supposed to pick it up the guy told me he sold it to someone else. Yes, I had talked to him 3 days prior and we had set up a meet day but I guess he was just an ass hole. Craig's List, sadly, has lots of them. I have a few months yet though so I continue to look. Wish me luck with the putzes that show up on CL....
Tuesday, March 15, 2011
New Mom Truths part III
More new-mom truths our last installation of Michelle's crazy mom truth comments...
47. You will wake up feeling sick one morning but will muster the strength to get through the day with your baby because you have to. Because it's not like anyone else is going to...
48. You will take waaaay longer to go on your first postbaby getaway than you'd imagined. Truth. I still haven't taken one from the first child and she's almost 10 years old.
49. You will be excited when your tot grows out of one size and into the next. Mine are so skinny that the sizes never work like you think they do so this is not a practical mile stone in our house.
50. You will be sad to put away what he's grown out of. Only the heirloom stuff and I save it all anyway.
51. You will actually be in the mood for sex one night, only to find that your husband's passed out cold in bed. That's like nightly, nothing new there.
52. You will not be in the mood for sex as he runs his foot along your unshaven legs and touches your greasy hair. Nope, I shower (and wash hair) in the morning and take a bath (and shave legs) at night. This will not change.
53. You will be grateful for K-Y Jelly. Isn't that true no matter what where or when? Everything is better with lube!
54. You will consider your husband's work commute his alone time, and be jealous of it. He drives 160 miles a day. I will never ever be jealous of that kind of commute.
55. You will be taken by surprise by your first postpartum period. Disappointed more like. Not looking forward to going back to those...
56. You will struggle to stay close to some of your childless friends. Don't think I have man (any?) of those as it stands. Not local anyway.
57. You will wonder how your stay-at-home-mom friends do it. Still do to this day.
58. You will wonder how your working-mom friends do it. Been there, done that, own the t-shirt, will own another soon...
59. You will make peace with your stretch marks because they give you character. Sure? They aren't so bad on me.
60. You will accept that your husband will never be as paranoid about the baby as you are, and will decide that's a good thing. Totally.
61. You will eventually find a playgroup whose kids are on the same schedule as yours. Nah, and it's ok. She's got a sister and we have neighbor kids.
62. You will hear yourself tell brand-new moms that the first 12 weeks really do fly by, even though it pissed you off when people told you that. No one ever told me that. I think it is true though so it won't piss me off.
63. You will live for your girls' nights out, once you get a couple under your belt and see that everything at home went just fine without you. I could see this as true. If I have girlfriends that can get a girls night out. I don't really though, they all have more kids than me.
64. You will find Cheerios in odd places. TRUTH. Until the dogs find them....
65. You won't care that she's getting food in her hair when she does "So Big" in her high chair. I don't care about food in hair until they're like 5 years old.
66. You will cherish the freedom to empty the dishwasher while your baby holds his morning bottle himself. Huh. The hubby does the dishes. That includes emptying the dishwasher. By the time my daughter was old enough to hold a bottle she thought they were passe. She had already graduated up to sippy cup. We're advanced in our household...
67. You will miss the smell of Dreft once you get the green light to wash infant clothes with yours. I don't bother with different laundry soaps because we use the biodegradable good stuff with all our laundry.
68. You will try not to take it personally when your sweetie's first word is "Da-Da." It must be easier to pronounce. [Editor's note: It is!] Like I give a crap. Teach her young to yell for daddy, that way I don't have to get up!
69. You will write more-heartfelt thank-you notes to anyone who gives a toy without lights, batteries, and noise. Doubtful. I like the ones that explode goo the best.
70. You will be relieved when your child turns 1. You didn't break him. I know huh? Therapy later though....
71. You will marvel at the volumes of unconditional love you have for your most wonderful achievement -- your baby. TRUTH.
47. You will wake up feeling sick one morning but will muster the strength to get through the day with your baby because you have to. Because it's not like anyone else is going to...
48. You will take waaaay longer to go on your first postbaby getaway than you'd imagined. Truth. I still haven't taken one from the first child and she's almost 10 years old.
49. You will be excited when your tot grows out of one size and into the next. Mine are so skinny that the sizes never work like you think they do so this is not a practical mile stone in our house.
50. You will be sad to put away what he's grown out of. Only the heirloom stuff and I save it all anyway.
51. You will actually be in the mood for sex one night, only to find that your husband's passed out cold in bed. That's like nightly, nothing new there.
52. You will not be in the mood for sex as he runs his foot along your unshaven legs and touches your greasy hair. Nope, I shower (and wash hair) in the morning and take a bath (and shave legs) at night. This will not change.
53. You will be grateful for K-Y Jelly. Isn't that true no matter what where or when? Everything is better with lube!
54. You will consider your husband's work commute his alone time, and be jealous of it. He drives 160 miles a day. I will never ever be jealous of that kind of commute.
55. You will be taken by surprise by your first postpartum period. Disappointed more like. Not looking forward to going back to those...
56. You will struggle to stay close to some of your childless friends. Don't think I have man (any?) of those as it stands. Not local anyway.
57. You will wonder how your stay-at-home-mom friends do it. Still do to this day.
58. You will wonder how your working-mom friends do it. Been there, done that, own the t-shirt, will own another soon...
59. You will make peace with your stretch marks because they give you character. Sure? They aren't so bad on me.
60. You will accept that your husband will never be as paranoid about the baby as you are, and will decide that's a good thing. Totally.
61. You will eventually find a playgroup whose kids are on the same schedule as yours. Nah, and it's ok. She's got a sister and we have neighbor kids.
62. You will hear yourself tell brand-new moms that the first 12 weeks really do fly by, even though it pissed you off when people told you that. No one ever told me that. I think it is true though so it won't piss me off.
63. You will live for your girls' nights out, once you get a couple under your belt and see that everything at home went just fine without you. I could see this as true. If I have girlfriends that can get a girls night out. I don't really though, they all have more kids than me.
64. You will find Cheerios in odd places. TRUTH. Until the dogs find them....
65. You won't care that she's getting food in her hair when she does "So Big" in her high chair. I don't care about food in hair until they're like 5 years old.
66. You will cherish the freedom to empty the dishwasher while your baby holds his morning bottle himself. Huh. The hubby does the dishes. That includes emptying the dishwasher. By the time my daughter was old enough to hold a bottle she thought they were passe. She had already graduated up to sippy cup. We're advanced in our household...
67. You will miss the smell of Dreft once you get the green light to wash infant clothes with yours. I don't bother with different laundry soaps because we use the biodegradable good stuff with all our laundry.
68. You will try not to take it personally when your sweetie's first word is "Da-Da." It must be easier to pronounce. [Editor's note: It is!] Like I give a crap. Teach her young to yell for daddy, that way I don't have to get up!
69. You will write more-heartfelt thank-you notes to anyone who gives a toy without lights, batteries, and noise. Doubtful. I like the ones that explode goo the best.
70. You will be relieved when your child turns 1. You didn't break him. I know huh? Therapy later though....
71. You will marvel at the volumes of unconditional love you have for your most wonderful achievement -- your baby. TRUTH.
Partial list of New Mom Truths part II
More new-mom truths with my own commentaries added....
23. You will overbundle your tyke for winter outings. I live in Texas, if it's that cold out we don't go out. Period.
24. You will call out to your hubby as he's taking the baby for a walk, "You have your cell on you, right?" My hubby is addicted to Words With Friends, he's never without his iPhone. Plus if he takes the child more power to him, I don't need to know where they're at or what they're doing. I have my own car!
25. You will get sick of hearing yourself say, "I didn't get to it yet." I don't even bother.
26. You will feel naked when you walk outside alone. Sooo not true. Free is more the word I'm looking for....
27. You will wonder if you could possibly love another child as much as you love this one. I'll have 2, that's just a stupid statement all around, there's no limit to love.
28. You will put your sweet pea in the ugliest outfit he's got, take an obligatory photo, and send it to the distant relative who purchased the fashion disaster. No, it'll go straight to the Good Will. Waste not want not but no need to dress my child in it. I didn't birth her for their entertainment. I birthed her for my entertainment.
29. You will rejoice when the baby's bald spot finally fills in. Now if only there were something to do about her mullet. No mullet or bald spot. Mine was totally bald until she was like 3 yrs old.
30.You will call your new-mom friend to say that your baby has a runny nose and has sneezed twice, and that if she wants to reschedule your play date, you'll understand. I'll just reschedule. I don't believe in sharing germs.
31. You will come up with a soothing mantra -- for yourself -- for when you take your child's rectal temperature. I'm a scientist working in the medical field. I've been eviscerated and had brain surgery. Rectal thermometers will be one of the easier things in life. The sooner she figures that out the better off she'll be.
32. You will get peed, puked, or pooped on when you have nothing handy to change into. Try all that as a vet tech all at the same time and baby bodily fluids are nothing, NOTHING, comparatively.
33. You will pack everything your baby could possibly need for a weekend and forget your own eyeglasses or toothbrush. Hell I forget that stuff anyway, baby isn't going to change that.
34. You will need to leave the house and have your husband stay home if and when you let the baby cry it out for the first time. Try the reverse.
35. You will detest traffic -- it means you're either late getting back home to your child or stuck in the car even longer with a fusspot. I'm there already. I own a french bulldog with a busted back and car sickness. Try running his ass through stop and go traffic in a standard transmission Jeep. Add to the vomit the fact that he always ALWAYS either pees or poops or both during these trips. Baby won't have anything on the bodily fluid monster.
36. You will slide a picture of your bambino on top of the wedding photo in your wallet. Haha! I don't have a wedding photo in my wallet. I have a pic of my daughter, I'll just add a second of the second daughter.
37. You will get takeout for dinner (again) just so you can take your baby to the park and hear her coo and giggle on the swings. I use every and all excuses for take out dinner. Stopping at the park would mean waiting longer to eat. Not happening.
38. You will crack up when you see your kid get down to music for the first time. Oh Hell yeah, an I'll video tape it too. Funny shit.
39. You will chat intimately with complete strangers on the grocery checkout line just because they are pregnant or have a small child. Maybe. I may do that anyway regardless of children/preggo.
40. You will e-mail friends and family pictures of the baby, always noting that if they want to stop receiving the updates you'll totally understand. No, the only people I bother doing that with want the pics. I'll post them to Facebook.
41. You will confess to your hubby whenever you do something not-so-smart with the baby, to ensure he doesn't make the same mistake. Probably not. I've watched him slam our baby's head into a door jam while carrying her back to her bed in the middle of the night as I tell him to watch out. She was sick with a cold, it was late, he was sleepy. If I can't keep him from doing that there's no real saving the kid. She just has to buck up.
42. You will find yourself saying "I only have one child so far," as if you're apologizing for not having a brood hidden underneath your petticoat. Fuck that. It took me a decade to have a second. I'm not having anymore and I think 2 is too many anyway. What you people think I'm in the Nutcracker?
43. You will eagerly devour your first really spicy post-pregnancy, post-nursing meal. Neither pregnancy nor nursing will keep me from Thai food.
44. You will catch your husband or partner being moved to tears by the baby. Oh yeah, no question about that there.
45. You will feel so lucky to have a child when you catch up with a friend who's been struggling to get pregnant. This is very true. I've had people contact me via FB messaging and I know that not just a few friends have lost not just a few pregnancies before being successful. It may have taken us awhile but it did happen and we are very very fortunate.
46. You will hear about criminals on the news and wonder what their moms are doing. Now this is very true. The hubby works in a prison and I do wonder at what time of totally moronic family these people had to take something like a human and basically raise it completely devoid of morals. Some people should be sterilized at birth.
23. You will overbundle your tyke for winter outings. I live in Texas, if it's that cold out we don't go out. Period.
24. You will call out to your hubby as he's taking the baby for a walk, "You have your cell on you, right?" My hubby is addicted to Words With Friends, he's never without his iPhone. Plus if he takes the child more power to him, I don't need to know where they're at or what they're doing. I have my own car!
25. You will get sick of hearing yourself say, "I didn't get to it yet." I don't even bother.
26. You will feel naked when you walk outside alone. Sooo not true. Free is more the word I'm looking for....
27. You will wonder if you could possibly love another child as much as you love this one. I'll have 2, that's just a stupid statement all around, there's no limit to love.
28. You will put your sweet pea in the ugliest outfit he's got, take an obligatory photo, and send it to the distant relative who purchased the fashion disaster. No, it'll go straight to the Good Will. Waste not want not but no need to dress my child in it. I didn't birth her for their entertainment. I birthed her for my entertainment.
29. You will rejoice when the baby's bald spot finally fills in. Now if only there were something to do about her mullet. No mullet or bald spot. Mine was totally bald until she was like 3 yrs old.
30.You will call your new-mom friend to say that your baby has a runny nose and has sneezed twice, and that if she wants to reschedule your play date, you'll understand. I'll just reschedule. I don't believe in sharing germs.
31. You will come up with a soothing mantra -- for yourself -- for when you take your child's rectal temperature. I'm a scientist working in the medical field. I've been eviscerated and had brain surgery. Rectal thermometers will be one of the easier things in life. The sooner she figures that out the better off she'll be.
32. You will get peed, puked, or pooped on when you have nothing handy to change into. Try all that as a vet tech all at the same time and baby bodily fluids are nothing, NOTHING, comparatively.
33. You will pack everything your baby could possibly need for a weekend and forget your own eyeglasses or toothbrush. Hell I forget that stuff anyway, baby isn't going to change that.
34. You will need to leave the house and have your husband stay home if and when you let the baby cry it out for the first time. Try the reverse.
35. You will detest traffic -- it means you're either late getting back home to your child or stuck in the car even longer with a fusspot. I'm there already. I own a french bulldog with a busted back and car sickness. Try running his ass through stop and go traffic in a standard transmission Jeep. Add to the vomit the fact that he always ALWAYS either pees or poops or both during these trips. Baby won't have anything on the bodily fluid monster.
36. You will slide a picture of your bambino on top of the wedding photo in your wallet. Haha! I don't have a wedding photo in my wallet. I have a pic of my daughter, I'll just add a second of the second daughter.
37. You will get takeout for dinner (again) just so you can take your baby to the park and hear her coo and giggle on the swings. I use every and all excuses for take out dinner. Stopping at the park would mean waiting longer to eat. Not happening.
38. You will crack up when you see your kid get down to music for the first time. Oh Hell yeah, an I'll video tape it too. Funny shit.
39. You will chat intimately with complete strangers on the grocery checkout line just because they are pregnant or have a small child. Maybe. I may do that anyway regardless of children/preggo.
40. You will e-mail friends and family pictures of the baby, always noting that if they want to stop receiving the updates you'll totally understand. No, the only people I bother doing that with want the pics. I'll post them to Facebook.
41. You will confess to your hubby whenever you do something not-so-smart with the baby, to ensure he doesn't make the same mistake. Probably not. I've watched him slam our baby's head into a door jam while carrying her back to her bed in the middle of the night as I tell him to watch out. She was sick with a cold, it was late, he was sleepy. If I can't keep him from doing that there's no real saving the kid. She just has to buck up.
42. You will find yourself saying "I only have one child so far," as if you're apologizing for not having a brood hidden underneath your petticoat. Fuck that. It took me a decade to have a second. I'm not having anymore and I think 2 is too many anyway. What you people think I'm in the Nutcracker?
43. You will eagerly devour your first really spicy post-pregnancy, post-nursing meal. Neither pregnancy nor nursing will keep me from Thai food.
44. You will catch your husband or partner being moved to tears by the baby. Oh yeah, no question about that there.
45. You will feel so lucky to have a child when you catch up with a friend who's been struggling to get pregnant. This is very true. I've had people contact me via FB messaging and I know that not just a few friends have lost not just a few pregnancies before being successful. It may have taken us awhile but it did happen and we are very very fortunate.
46. You will hear about criminals on the news and wonder what their moms are doing. Now this is very true. The hubby works in a prison and I do wonder at what time of totally moronic family these people had to take something like a human and basically raise it completely devoid of morals. Some people should be sterilized at birth.
Partial list of New Mom Truths
There are 71 in this list from Parenting. I'm only going to do 21 today so I can comment on them. They're all true. I know, I'm a mom...
1.You will hear all sorts of delivery and nursing nightmare stories once you start sharing your own. Like you always wanted to know right?
2. You will want to burn your maternity clothes -- even if you plan on having more kids. I think this was true of my first set 10 years ago. I'm silly happy with my new set and am still shopping for maternity lingerie. Be happy you're not my hubby, the poor dear.
3. You will lose tiny socks in the wash. Shit like we don't lose the big ones too? Ya think the tiny ones will not succumb to the same fate? Pulease.
4. You will be able to shower, wash and dry your hair, and get dressed in less than ten minutes. I'm not so sure about this. More like the baby won't die if she cries for 10 more minutes. 20 minute shower here I come....
5. You will want to apologize to friends and family who had kids before you for never really getting why they had less time for you. I never had issues with my friends who didn't have time for me. My mom was a craptastic mom. If you spent more time with your kid than me more power to ya!
6. You will fantasize about what you would swap for a good eight hours of sleep. 8? Shit try 3.
7. You will be so proud of every ounce your baby gains. I bred with a stick. Twice. I'm thrilled when she gains fractions of ounces.
8. You will wonder whether it's possible to get all the crud out of your baby's skin folds. No, it's not. They're like reptiles, you have to wait for the next shed.
9. You will laugh at your OB when she asks what you plan on using for birth control at your six-week postpartum checkup. My OB isn't that stupid. Plus we already told her we're having the hubby fixed.
10. You won't stop worrying that you'll make your tot bleed when you clip his fingernails. I was a vet tech for 5 years. If I never hit the quick on a psycho-going-to-rip-my-head-off-300lb-rottie then I'm not worried about a sleeping baby. Plus a little blood never hurt anyone...
11. You will wish you had the time and brain cells to read just one of the novels you blew through when pregnancy heartburn kept you up all night. Not going to be a problem, trust me....
12. You will want to throw the baby monitor out the window. I don't own a baby monitor, I have a husband and a 10 yr old. I may or may not want to throw myself out the window at any given point in time. Maybe the hubby too. Not the kid though, she took too much effort to make and replacing her would mean doing this again. Fuck no.
13. You won't have the desire or the time to iron the crib skirt after you first wash it. And the wrinkles will drive you crazy. But not crazy enough to dismantle the crib and iron it. Iron? GTFO.
14. You will wonder how other new moms manage to be so skinny, put-together, or energetic. Wonder? No. I just won't associate with them, problem solved.
15. You will think you seem pretty together compared with other new moms you see. Fat fucking chance there. If I'm alive I'm good.
16. You will dread encountering baby-crazed preschoolers with runny noses and coughs. Always have always will. Disease monsters....
17. You will never again touch an infant that isn't yours on the hands or face. I haven't touched an infant since mine was that young. Seriously.
18. You will forget all about your difficult day with your baby when you finally see her sleeping peacefully at night. Not going to happen until the baby is 3 years minimum (this is my luck) and by then I will not be forgetting, I'll be dead asleep.
19. You will have some mornings when you bounce out of bed to get the baby... and others when you need a truck to pull you from under the covers. There will be no mornings when I bounce out of bed. Never has been never will be. Not a morning person and no offspring will change that.
20. You will thank God for caffeine. Doesn't work on me and I don't believe in God. May have something to do with the caffeine not working one me.
21. You will get used to how your husband comes home from work, checks on the baby, and "accidentally" wakes him up. My hubby has baby night duty. I seriously doubt I married a man so dumb as to make his life even more difficult than he already has by marrying me and breeding 2 girls. Trust me on this one.
22. You will pretend you don't smell your child's dirty diaper as you hand her to Dad. Who needs to pretend, just dump and go.
1.You will hear all sorts of delivery and nursing nightmare stories once you start sharing your own. Like you always wanted to know right?
2. You will want to burn your maternity clothes -- even if you plan on having more kids. I think this was true of my first set 10 years ago. I'm silly happy with my new set and am still shopping for maternity lingerie. Be happy you're not my hubby, the poor dear.
3. You will lose tiny socks in the wash. Shit like we don't lose the big ones too? Ya think the tiny ones will not succumb to the same fate? Pulease.
4. You will be able to shower, wash and dry your hair, and get dressed in less than ten minutes. I'm not so sure about this. More like the baby won't die if she cries for 10 more minutes. 20 minute shower here I come....
5. You will want to apologize to friends and family who had kids before you for never really getting why they had less time for you. I never had issues with my friends who didn't have time for me. My mom was a craptastic mom. If you spent more time with your kid than me more power to ya!
6. You will fantasize about what you would swap for a good eight hours of sleep. 8? Shit try 3.
7. You will be so proud of every ounce your baby gains. I bred with a stick. Twice. I'm thrilled when she gains fractions of ounces.
8. You will wonder whether it's possible to get all the crud out of your baby's skin folds. No, it's not. They're like reptiles, you have to wait for the next shed.
9. You will laugh at your OB when she asks what you plan on using for birth control at your six-week postpartum checkup. My OB isn't that stupid. Plus we already told her we're having the hubby fixed.
10. You won't stop worrying that you'll make your tot bleed when you clip his fingernails. I was a vet tech for 5 years. If I never hit the quick on a psycho-going-to-rip-my-head-off-300lb-rottie then I'm not worried about a sleeping baby. Plus a little blood never hurt anyone...
11. You will wish you had the time and brain cells to read just one of the novels you blew through when pregnancy heartburn kept you up all night. Not going to be a problem, trust me....
12. You will want to throw the baby monitor out the window. I don't own a baby monitor, I have a husband and a 10 yr old. I may or may not want to throw myself out the window at any given point in time. Maybe the hubby too. Not the kid though, she took too much effort to make and replacing her would mean doing this again. Fuck no.
13. You won't have the desire or the time to iron the crib skirt after you first wash it. And the wrinkles will drive you crazy. But not crazy enough to dismantle the crib and iron it. Iron? GTFO.
14. You will wonder how other new moms manage to be so skinny, put-together, or energetic. Wonder? No. I just won't associate with them, problem solved.
15. You will think you seem pretty together compared with other new moms you see. Fat fucking chance there. If I'm alive I'm good.
16. You will dread encountering baby-crazed preschoolers with runny noses and coughs. Always have always will. Disease monsters....
17. You will never again touch an infant that isn't yours on the hands or face. I haven't touched an infant since mine was that young. Seriously.
18. You will forget all about your difficult day with your baby when you finally see her sleeping peacefully at night. Not going to happen until the baby is 3 years minimum (this is my luck) and by then I will not be forgetting, I'll be dead asleep.
19. You will have some mornings when you bounce out of bed to get the baby... and others when you need a truck to pull you from under the covers. There will be no mornings when I bounce out of bed. Never has been never will be. Not a morning person and no offspring will change that.
20. You will thank God for caffeine. Doesn't work on me and I don't believe in God. May have something to do with the caffeine not working one me.
21. You will get used to how your husband comes home from work, checks on the baby, and "accidentally" wakes him up. My hubby has baby night duty. I seriously doubt I married a man so dumb as to make his life even more difficult than he already has by marrying me and breeding 2 girls. Trust me on this one.
22. You will pretend you don't smell your child's dirty diaper as you hand her to Dad. Who needs to pretend, just dump and go.
Thursday, March 3, 2011
Siblings
Have any? I don't. My mom is a terrible mother and she didn't want to be a mom in the first place, my dad just talked her into not terminating their 'oops'. Which I'm grateful for, really. She had no business adding to that though so I'm good with the fact that I never had another to share in her lunacy. The Pioneer Woman has a photo contest up right now entitled Sisters and I just love the variety that it resulted in. Most pictures are of sisters near in age. There are a few singles that the sister was apparently the one taking the pic (which is ok I guess) and one or two of sisters drastically different in age. One that's even (obviously) and older sister with an adopted infant baby sister (one is white and the other very black). It got me thinking about how my two daughters are going to have a different sort of relationship than most sisters.
Since I have no siblings and consequently, no real life frame of reference, I can only make these assumptions based on what I've seen between other sibling relationships. The hubby has an older brother that is 5 1/2 years older than him. It's a decent age difference. For the most part they were never really in the same school as youngsters and let's face it, no matter what the age difference big brothers are going to beat the crap out of the younger one. The hubby is very wiley, I think his brother taught him this form of defense at a very early age. They didn't get on well in their younger years (his brother was a bit of a trouble maker) but once they became adults they became good friends. I think sisters are much different though, for one thing the physical aggression is not there as much. They'll be plenty of fighting I'm sure but the closer they are in age the more competition that will be going on.
There will be, for all intents and purposes, 10 years between my daughters. They will never ever attend the same schools at the same time. Their emotional needs will be different due to their maturity. My eldest will be more like another momma to my youngest. With some kids I think that may make them resentful but if you knew my eldest you'd know that it won't be a problem as long as she still gets mommy or daddy's undivided attention when she needs it. I don't think this will be a problem at all. We're very used to her emotional needs and she always let's us know exactly what she needs if we, lord forbid, don't notice. Each of them will be raised much like an only child since there will be such an age discrepancy. Toy pilfering will be negligible, our eldest will probably be around to teach the youngest to do girly stuff like put on make up, etc. It'll be very interesting to see how their relationship grows. Like I said, I have no frame of reference.
How about y'all? I know 99.999% of Texans seems to have kids in litters rather than the singletons most southern Californians raise. Cost of living, space, and whatnot being to blame for that. Do you guys have any siblings far off in age from yourself? I'm not so good with the pregnancy thing or babies, I think it's a patience and pain tolerance thing. I have neither. Hence the need for a HUGE gap between children. And yes, this is the last. No way I'm doing this again.
Since I have no siblings and consequently, no real life frame of reference, I can only make these assumptions based on what I've seen between other sibling relationships. The hubby has an older brother that is 5 1/2 years older than him. It's a decent age difference. For the most part they were never really in the same school as youngsters and let's face it, no matter what the age difference big brothers are going to beat the crap out of the younger one. The hubby is very wiley, I think his brother taught him this form of defense at a very early age. They didn't get on well in their younger years (his brother was a bit of a trouble maker) but once they became adults they became good friends. I think sisters are much different though, for one thing the physical aggression is not there as much. They'll be plenty of fighting I'm sure but the closer they are in age the more competition that will be going on.
There will be, for all intents and purposes, 10 years between my daughters. They will never ever attend the same schools at the same time. Their emotional needs will be different due to their maturity. My eldest will be more like another momma to my youngest. With some kids I think that may make them resentful but if you knew my eldest you'd know that it won't be a problem as long as she still gets mommy or daddy's undivided attention when she needs it. I don't think this will be a problem at all. We're very used to her emotional needs and she always let's us know exactly what she needs if we, lord forbid, don't notice. Each of them will be raised much like an only child since there will be such an age discrepancy. Toy pilfering will be negligible, our eldest will probably be around to teach the youngest to do girly stuff like put on make up, etc. It'll be very interesting to see how their relationship grows. Like I said, I have no frame of reference.
How about y'all? I know 99.999% of Texans seems to have kids in litters rather than the singletons most southern Californians raise. Cost of living, space, and whatnot being to blame for that. Do you guys have any siblings far off in age from yourself? I'm not so good with the pregnancy thing or babies, I think it's a patience and pain tolerance thing. I have neither. Hence the need for a HUGE gap between children. And yes, this is the last. No way I'm doing this again.
Wednesday, March 2, 2011
19 + 4 weeks update
Yes, you guys are going to get sick of my health updates but such is life. I'm over the cold, the kid got it last weekend but the hubby was able to stay home with her on Monday so it was all good. This past Sunday we went clothes shopping for her and I think I walked too much. Result, I started having mega Braxton Hicks contractions. Like MEGA. I am not one to call my doctor unless I really have to. I was calling her on Monday. And on Tuesday. Then on Wednesday too. Because by Tuesday night the pain was pretty bad, a good 4-5 on a 1-10 scale. I can tough it out without meds, it wasn't that bad. Still, I didn't want this newbie popping out quite that early. That would be bad. I'm not starting this whole process again after I've already gotten halfway through, no way. It's now or never time.
Getting a hold of a doctor is not nearly as easy as one would like. It all depends on how good the MA is and the only good one my doctor has had left because the administration there drove her nuts. I totally understand but all her subsequent replacements have sucked. This most recent one doesn't suck as bad as the last one but I started this process on Monday. Finally got a response on Wednesday. Good thing my body wasn't actually pushing out my perfectly healthy baby huh? For those of you who don't know much about the medical field the medical assistants that see you when you go to the doctors know how to 1) take your blood pressure, weight and temp and 2) write down what the issue is. That's it. They don't have a degree, they hopefully have a high school degree but not always. Reassuring huh? We have a few at the clinic I work at that have made a long term career out of it and are wonderful. I know we have a few that are raving morons. These are the people who police your phone calls to your doctor. Really, how can that system be anything less than inherently flawed? That is one of the main reasons I start calling early if I think something might become serious. By the time the doctor gets the message I may already be at the critical point. Note, I have already informed my doctor that if I think something is seriously wrong I'm just showing up at the office after I call. She's ok with that which is one of the reasons I really like my doctor. Actually shes ok with a lot of my...personality issues (?)....I'm being politically correct here. I am adamant about a few things that she knows will probably piss off some of her partners at the practice. She's asked me not to be mean to them if I end up going into labor and get someone who is not on board with what I want (very high likelihood). I'm going to try but if they give me any lip it's going to get ugly. I have a pack of she bitches at my back, 2 of which deal with doctors on a daily basis at work.
So here's what the doctor seems to think about this current burst of contractions/pain : they aren't contractions. At some point in the last 3 years I developed fibroids. A lot of them. Actually an inordinately large quantity of them, some very big. All together enough so that I'll be having ultrasounds at least every 4-6 weeks at the specialists to make sure the baby's growth is not being hindered. It's not likely but we'll be monitoring it just in case. What my doctor thinks is happening is the blood flow to these monster fibroids is being cut off so that more blood can got to the placenta. The fibroids, in the meantime, are suffering a sort of mini heart attack and are disintergrating. Causing pain. The upside, they're going away and the baby is not being harmed. The downside, it hurts like a beotch. Kinda like mega- menstrual cramps. Fun stuff huh?
You know it's bad when, at 19 weeks, your doctor says to you 'This is going to be a rough pregnancy'. Yay me! This is it folks, never again.....
Getting a hold of a doctor is not nearly as easy as one would like. It all depends on how good the MA is and the only good one my doctor has had left because the administration there drove her nuts. I totally understand but all her subsequent replacements have sucked. This most recent one doesn't suck as bad as the last one but I started this process on Monday. Finally got a response on Wednesday. Good thing my body wasn't actually pushing out my perfectly healthy baby huh? For those of you who don't know much about the medical field the medical assistants that see you when you go to the doctors know how to 1) take your blood pressure, weight and temp and 2) write down what the issue is. That's it. They don't have a degree, they hopefully have a high school degree but not always. Reassuring huh? We have a few at the clinic I work at that have made a long term career out of it and are wonderful. I know we have a few that are raving morons. These are the people who police your phone calls to your doctor. Really, how can that system be anything less than inherently flawed? That is one of the main reasons I start calling early if I think something might become serious. By the time the doctor gets the message I may already be at the critical point. Note, I have already informed my doctor that if I think something is seriously wrong I'm just showing up at the office after I call. She's ok with that which is one of the reasons I really like my doctor. Actually shes ok with a lot of my...personality issues (?)....I'm being politically correct here. I am adamant about a few things that she knows will probably piss off some of her partners at the practice. She's asked me not to be mean to them if I end up going into labor and get someone who is not on board with what I want (very high likelihood). I'm going to try but if they give me any lip it's going to get ugly. I have a pack of she bitches at my back, 2 of which deal with doctors on a daily basis at work.
So here's what the doctor seems to think about this current burst of contractions/pain : they aren't contractions. At some point in the last 3 years I developed fibroids. A lot of them. Actually an inordinately large quantity of them, some very big. All together enough so that I'll be having ultrasounds at least every 4-6 weeks at the specialists to make sure the baby's growth is not being hindered. It's not likely but we'll be monitoring it just in case. What my doctor thinks is happening is the blood flow to these monster fibroids is being cut off so that more blood can got to the placenta. The fibroids, in the meantime, are suffering a sort of mini heart attack and are disintergrating. Causing pain. The upside, they're going away and the baby is not being harmed. The downside, it hurts like a beotch. Kinda like mega- menstrual cramps. Fun stuff huh?
You know it's bad when, at 19 weeks, your doctor says to you 'This is going to be a rough pregnancy'. Yay me! This is it folks, never again.....
Monday, February 21, 2011
Sicky invalid
The inevitable happened, I caught a virus. Preggo women have supressed immune systems, something about keeping the body from refusing the baby. Yay. I got my flu shot this year just in case and managed to make it through the holiday season without getting getting diseased. A testament to my less than friendly personality. It has it's upsides, much to my hubby's denial.
The bad news, I have a cold. The good news, it's not a real bad one. I'm used to ones that make you wear all of the skin off your nose with tissues and every time you lie down you nasal passages drain. You know what I'm talking about right? This one is not so bad. I'm having a hard time with lung capacity. It was already bad since baby is already 18 weeks along and for reasons I won't bore/gore you with my uterus is much farther up in my abdomen then it's supposed to be. I was already having trouble climbing stairs, the cold hasn't helped any. I'm not terribly congested but every time I try and do something, you know, like go potty, I'm practically panting by the time I get there. I keep thinking I've rested enough and try to go do something like make a short Costco run. I can do it. But that's about it for the entire rest of the day. Ah, the superwoman syndrome.
The hubby has been suffering worse than me. He isn't sick but he is off today for the holiday so he got to take care of all the little things that I normally do. Poor man. I passed off the morning school kid drop off to him this morning. Normally the kids would have the day off too but they had a snow day a few weeks ago (totally unheard of out here but hella fun none the less) and they used this holiday as a make up day. Of course the snow day was supposed to be a half day. The make up day? Full day. The hubby doesn't mind taking her to school on the days he has off but I, of course, do things in the morning that he probably is not used to doing. I have this check list of stuff to make sure get done before the kid is dropped off and really, I don't even notice it. The poor hubby, his check list isn't quite so long. So I woke (barely) enough to remind him this morning what needed to be addressed. He got half of it done. Poor man. I was less than gentle with him once I got up and realized he dropped the ball. He had already taken care of my invalid ass all weekend, I think this morning was the last straw. He had already made my breakfast and was in the middle of folding laundry (the laundry he did the day before) and pretty much had had it with me. I don't blame him, my morning self is even worse than my normal bad attitude self. Add to that my illness and I was super fun to deal with. I left to go to work right after and gave the hubby a chance to settle down. I lasted about 30 minutes at work before having to come home. Like I said, super woman I am not. We went to lunch and it was all good. The hubby? He's closer to superman than I am the female version. He was back at the cleaning thing before I even made it home from work.
So here I am, whining on the web about having a cold. While the hubby is hard at work keeping me fully stocked with Airborne and the household running. On his days off. Poor man....
The bad news, I have a cold. The good news, it's not a real bad one. I'm used to ones that make you wear all of the skin off your nose with tissues and every time you lie down you nasal passages drain. You know what I'm talking about right? This one is not so bad. I'm having a hard time with lung capacity. It was already bad since baby is already 18 weeks along and for reasons I won't bore/gore you with my uterus is much farther up in my abdomen then it's supposed to be. I was already having trouble climbing stairs, the cold hasn't helped any. I'm not terribly congested but every time I try and do something, you know, like go potty, I'm practically panting by the time I get there. I keep thinking I've rested enough and try to go do something like make a short Costco run. I can do it. But that's about it for the entire rest of the day. Ah, the superwoman syndrome.
The hubby has been suffering worse than me. He isn't sick but he is off today for the holiday so he got to take care of all the little things that I normally do. Poor man. I passed off the morning school kid drop off to him this morning. Normally the kids would have the day off too but they had a snow day a few weeks ago (totally unheard of out here but hella fun none the less) and they used this holiday as a make up day. Of course the snow day was supposed to be a half day. The make up day? Full day. The hubby doesn't mind taking her to school on the days he has off but I, of course, do things in the morning that he probably is not used to doing. I have this check list of stuff to make sure get done before the kid is dropped off and really, I don't even notice it. The poor hubby, his check list isn't quite so long. So I woke (barely) enough to remind him this morning what needed to be addressed. He got half of it done. Poor man. I was less than gentle with him once I got up and realized he dropped the ball. He had already taken care of my invalid ass all weekend, I think this morning was the last straw. He had already made my breakfast and was in the middle of folding laundry (the laundry he did the day before) and pretty much had had it with me. I don't blame him, my morning self is even worse than my normal bad attitude self. Add to that my illness and I was super fun to deal with. I left to go to work right after and gave the hubby a chance to settle down. I lasted about 30 minutes at work before having to come home. Like I said, super woman I am not. We went to lunch and it was all good. The hubby? He's closer to superman than I am the female version. He was back at the cleaning thing before I even made it home from work.
So here I am, whining on the web about having a cold. While the hubby is hard at work keeping me fully stocked with Airborne and the household running. On his days off. Poor man....
Tuesday, February 15, 2011
Daddies and their daughters, a very important relationship
This is a subject I'm always going on about when I hear a woman has terrible choices in men and the resulting crappy relationships. You show me a woman who has crappy taste in men and I'll bet you that she had dad issues. Go ahead, try it sometime. The next time a gf bemoans her crappy relationship history ask her how she got on with her dad. How he treated her, what they did together, if he was around at all. It can be overcome but still, it's important.
All you dads out there do you realize how important it is to be a part of your little girl's life? I know that guys like to play ball with their sons and all but many men just don't get how important their relationship is with their girls. He's the guy who sets the example for all other males in her life. He's the one who shows her how women are supposed to be treated and just how much respect she can expect to get from them. VERY IMPORTANT JOB HERE DADS. Long term ramifications. Seriously.
This past Friday, the Friday before V-day (which I'm not much of a fan of), the girl's school had a "Me and My Guy" dance for the girls and their father (uncle, grandpa, male role model,whatever). It was so damn cute I just couldn't stand it. I was good, I remembered a week prior to make an order for a corsage and boutineer at the florists. Like I said, these are the days when standards are met. The kid needs to know exactly what to expect from a boy taking her to a dance so we're doing this one right. Her daddy doesn't get home until late so I took care of it for him but he's the one who presented it to her so it counts. I was the driver, there's not enough parking at the school for a ton of cars so it was just easier that way. Plus it gave me a chance to see the daddies in their suits and dress shirts and girls all dolled up and excited. It was so damn cute I can't even begin to tell you. Those little girls were SO excited. Their daddies all very indulgent. This was the first year they did this dance and I'm pretty sure the turnout must have been overwhelming. I talked to the PTA mom who helped organize it the month prior. I told her to expect every girl in that school to be there with their dad. The student body didn't disappoint. Much to my delight (and I'm sure that of all the little girls) it seems as though most of the daddies in our school district know how to spoil their little girls. As it should be right?
The kid wanted, specifically, ruby red lipstick. I did her hair and make up, the lipstick is one I have but never wear. Too red! She looked so cute though and it's what made her happy so I wasn't worried about it. The hubby wore his Mickey Mouse tie (yes, those are rows of little gray Mickey heads on that subtle looking tie) and was very happy to leave work early so he could be home in time to take his little girl to her first dance. Beyond cute....
Thursday, January 27, 2011
Give them and inch...
Got an email from the hubby yesterday. He had jury duty summons, didn't get picked (much to his dismay), and got home early. Let the dogs out of their crates, he and the kid went upstairs to play on the computers or something, and he came back downstairs to this:
Dogs are not allowed on the couch. Mostly. They smell and no matter how often you bathe them they make the couch smell like dog. That's just the way it is. Especially when the dog is like 65lbs. More dog = more smell. That's Jaynie making use of the unloved couch. He may have thought that the couch was getting lonely with everyone upstairs, who knows. If we are in his presence and he wants on the couch he always asks by placing his head on the couch. He rarely if not never will just jump on. If he does it means he's pretty damn desperate for couch lounging time. No, I don't know what causes this need but I can understand it. He's not allowed up there without permission though and he's more often than not, refused. We caught him on the couch twice that afternoon. This time and then once more after I got home and was working in the kitchen. The back of the couch faces the bar in the kitchen so I couldn't see him. When the hubby came back downstairs he busted him. Funny too, normally when we see him he knows he's busted and just gets off the couch. This time he must have been pretty dead set on couch lounging time because he just gave us the droopy eyed look you see in the picture. Didn't even bother to lift up his head. Kinda like he was saying "It's not like you guys were using it".
Yeah, like he owns that couch...spoiled little shit.
Dogs are not allowed on the couch. Mostly. They smell and no matter how often you bathe them they make the couch smell like dog. That's just the way it is. Especially when the dog is like 65lbs. More dog = more smell. That's Jaynie making use of the unloved couch. He may have thought that the couch was getting lonely with everyone upstairs, who knows. If we are in his presence and he wants on the couch he always asks by placing his head on the couch. He rarely if not never will just jump on. If he does it means he's pretty damn desperate for couch lounging time. No, I don't know what causes this need but I can understand it. He's not allowed up there without permission though and he's more often than not, refused. We caught him on the couch twice that afternoon. This time and then once more after I got home and was working in the kitchen. The back of the couch faces the bar in the kitchen so I couldn't see him. When the hubby came back downstairs he busted him. Funny too, normally when we see him he knows he's busted and just gets off the couch. This time he must have been pretty dead set on couch lounging time because he just gave us the droopy eyed look you see in the picture. Didn't even bother to lift up his head. Kinda like he was saying "It's not like you guys were using it".
Yeah, like he owns that couch...spoiled little shit.
Tuesday, January 18, 2011
It's all a numbers game...
You'll have to forgive my pregnancy centered blogging for the next 26 weeks or so. My body is no longer mine, it's just on partial loan while I incubate the newbie. I have been subjected to yet more maternal-fetal tests and am reminded how pregnancy is much like gambling, specifically craps. The worst odds in the house and it can all be completely reduced to numbers. Especially when of 'advanced maternal age' ie over 35. The chances of miscarriage: 20-35%, chance of Down Syndrome 1 in 190, birth defects 1 in 400 at age 35 1 in 400 at age 40, risk of autism goes up 18% with every 5 years mom increases in age. I'm sure I could go on but quite frankly reading these statistics is depressing. Realistically the percentages are still good that my baby will be perfectly normal. If I don't miscarry. I have a multitude of friends with both success and disappointment stories. Many have had at least 1 miscarriage before a successful pregnancy. I have 1 friend (parents of my kid's classmate) who recently had a baby with a chromosomal defect. It wasn't Downs but he does have a few issues that will need physical therapy. So I suppose the statistics are great, as long as you aren't that partial one percent right?
We have crossed a few hurdles already and I'm thankful for every one. First off was getting pregnant. Our first was a total fluke so I didn't figure we'd have too much of a problem repeating the oops. Wrong. I'm sure age had plenty to do with that too, it's been almost 10 years since that last pregnancy. Damn we're old. We tried for over a year and then decided to try Clomid. I've had a few friends try it, none have actually gotten pregnant when using it. It does carry a risk of multiples so there is that. The women I do know who used it have all gotten pregnant eventually. One several years later on her own, the others the month after stopping the Clomid. This is what happened to us. You only take the pill for 6 consecutive months, then you stop. We got pregnant on month 7. No multiples, thank gawd. The first hurdle after conceiving is having a viable pregnancy. That means it's in the uterus (ectopic=bad) and it has a heartbeat. I had a co-workers wife who got pregnant at the same time as I did with my first pregnancy. We went for our first ob visit in the same week. Mine had a heart beat. Hers didn't. They had to do a D&C. Really tragic. Needless to say when I went in for my first ob visit this time around, high up on my list was to hear the heartbeat. This being 10 years out from the last we didn't even have to do the doppler thing, I got an quickie office ultrasound. Got to see and hear the heart beat, measure the fetus, and determine the age of the pregnancy (which I was off on calculating) at that point (7 weeks). Freaking awesome and I mark that as the first hurdle post conception.
The next hurdle was the obvious 12 weeks. Highest chances of miscarriage occur then, my chances of keeping this one inside for the duration of baking time went up as of 1 week ago and, of course, continues to go up as time passes. It's a numbers game, remember? As a bonus of the whole advanced maternal age ob's send you to a specialty clinic along with their routine care. This specialty clinic has genetic testing and it does the testing for chromosomal abnormalities. You sit with a genetic counselor and he/she goes over all the genetic abnomalities and your liklihood of having them go wrong with you kid. You go through your race/lineage, any issues your relatives have had and it takes forever. You would not believe what tests they have available now. We opted for only one test because we're a 'mixed race' couple. I'm only half white, my moms from the Philippines so we're a mutt family. It lowers your risk of a ton of genetic abnormalities, kinda like a pound puppy as opposed to a pure bred.
We opted to do the ultrasound at 13 weeks known as the nuchal translucency. It measures the fluid at the base of the baby's skull (profile) and if it's thick it's indicative of a chromasomal abnormality. There's a blood test also but it's to be compared to another blood test taken at 15 weeks so we won't get results from that test for awhile. We did the ultrasound today and everything looks good. Normal amount of fluid at the baby's spine. Hurdle #3 jumped. Downs is a super big deal for us. We aren't rich and we don't have an at home parent. I have no idea how other people can raise a Downs child but we know we just can't do it. It's one of those make or breaks in life and the sooner we know the better. Others would handle it differently I'm sure but we have discussed it before, we just could not hack it. I have the option of asking for a amniocentesis, the only for sure way of ruling it out but again, it comes with it's own risks. I will only do an amnio if all other tests lead us to believe we have a problem. Today's visit put our minds at ease. It's not a for sure thing but it doesn't open up other questions either and I'm good with that. I'd show you the ultrasounds but it's really really hard to make out the baby because it was super active. Back arches, kicks and punches and rolls, the ultrasound tech had a rough time getting a profile picture so she could get the measurements needed. I can make out the baby but I think anyone that isn't as adept at reading ultrasounds would be hard pressed to see anything at all. Next ultrasound is at 18 weeks and that's when we'll probably find out the sex and it'll be much easier to discern a whole baby.
Hey, other good news on my end of the deal, my nausea is almost completely gone and I have yet to gain any weight. I already had too much extra, I'm thinking my body is smart and utilizing what it already has. Don't worry, I still keep myself well fed but the nausea kept me from over eating. I'm going to try and keep up with that theme and not go overboard. I love my food but I am too old to be packing it on.
So all is well so far in old preggers mom land, wish me luck going into trimester #2, it's really the only decent trimester there is!
We have crossed a few hurdles already and I'm thankful for every one. First off was getting pregnant. Our first was a total fluke so I didn't figure we'd have too much of a problem repeating the oops. Wrong. I'm sure age had plenty to do with that too, it's been almost 10 years since that last pregnancy. Damn we're old. We tried for over a year and then decided to try Clomid. I've had a few friends try it, none have actually gotten pregnant when using it. It does carry a risk of multiples so there is that. The women I do know who used it have all gotten pregnant eventually. One several years later on her own, the others the month after stopping the Clomid. This is what happened to us. You only take the pill for 6 consecutive months, then you stop. We got pregnant on month 7. No multiples, thank gawd. The first hurdle after conceiving is having a viable pregnancy. That means it's in the uterus (ectopic=bad) and it has a heartbeat. I had a co-workers wife who got pregnant at the same time as I did with my first pregnancy. We went for our first ob visit in the same week. Mine had a heart beat. Hers didn't. They had to do a D&C. Really tragic. Needless to say when I went in for my first ob visit this time around, high up on my list was to hear the heartbeat. This being 10 years out from the last we didn't even have to do the doppler thing, I got an quickie office ultrasound. Got to see and hear the heart beat, measure the fetus, and determine the age of the pregnancy (which I was off on calculating) at that point (7 weeks). Freaking awesome and I mark that as the first hurdle post conception.
The next hurdle was the obvious 12 weeks. Highest chances of miscarriage occur then, my chances of keeping this one inside for the duration of baking time went up as of 1 week ago and, of course, continues to go up as time passes. It's a numbers game, remember? As a bonus of the whole advanced maternal age ob's send you to a specialty clinic along with their routine care. This specialty clinic has genetic testing and it does the testing for chromosomal abnormalities. You sit with a genetic counselor and he/she goes over all the genetic abnomalities and your liklihood of having them go wrong with you kid. You go through your race/lineage, any issues your relatives have had and it takes forever. You would not believe what tests they have available now. We opted for only one test because we're a 'mixed race' couple. I'm only half white, my moms from the Philippines so we're a mutt family. It lowers your risk of a ton of genetic abnormalities, kinda like a pound puppy as opposed to a pure bred.
We opted to do the ultrasound at 13 weeks known as the nuchal translucency. It measures the fluid at the base of the baby's skull (profile) and if it's thick it's indicative of a chromasomal abnormality. There's a blood test also but it's to be compared to another blood test taken at 15 weeks so we won't get results from that test for awhile. We did the ultrasound today and everything looks good. Normal amount of fluid at the baby's spine. Hurdle #3 jumped. Downs is a super big deal for us. We aren't rich and we don't have an at home parent. I have no idea how other people can raise a Downs child but we know we just can't do it. It's one of those make or breaks in life and the sooner we know the better. Others would handle it differently I'm sure but we have discussed it before, we just could not hack it. I have the option of asking for a amniocentesis, the only for sure way of ruling it out but again, it comes with it's own risks. I will only do an amnio if all other tests lead us to believe we have a problem. Today's visit put our minds at ease. It's not a for sure thing but it doesn't open up other questions either and I'm good with that. I'd show you the ultrasounds but it's really really hard to make out the baby because it was super active. Back arches, kicks and punches and rolls, the ultrasound tech had a rough time getting a profile picture so she could get the measurements needed. I can make out the baby but I think anyone that isn't as adept at reading ultrasounds would be hard pressed to see anything at all. Next ultrasound is at 18 weeks and that's when we'll probably find out the sex and it'll be much easier to discern a whole baby.
Hey, other good news on my end of the deal, my nausea is almost completely gone and I have yet to gain any weight. I already had too much extra, I'm thinking my body is smart and utilizing what it already has. Don't worry, I still keep myself well fed but the nausea kept me from over eating. I'm going to try and keep up with that theme and not go overboard. I love my food but I am too old to be packing it on.
So all is well so far in old preggers mom land, wish me luck going into trimester #2, it's really the only decent trimester there is!
Tuesday, January 11, 2011
12 down, 28 to go. Maybe.
Weeks that is. I am now into my second trimester which at my advanced maternal age means I've made it through the very high risk time. Not that something still can't go wrong, it's just more likely now that I'll make it to the end with a live product. My first pregnancy lasted 39 weeks which is why there's a maybe in the title. I think it's not so much a function of fetus being ready as my body kicking it out. I'm 5 feet tall and by the time I hit 39 weeks I look much like Violet Beauregard after the dessert part of the bubble gum (name the movie). Not a pretty sight. I didn't even go into labor at 39 weeks. My water broke and nothing happened. It was kinda like my body was done but the kid had no intention of leaving. Let's hope we don't have a repeat of that or it'd be an immediate c-section. I don't want to be eviscerated again. As common a practice as it is I did not enjoy it at all. Yeah yeah I got kid out of (not quite right but almost) blah blah blah but it was still another week in the hospital. A week from Hell and I managed to have a nice little nervous breakdown. That nobody noticed. Seriously, the healthcare system is severely lacking here. 2 years healing with severe post partum depression and again, no health care worker or doctor noticed. Now you know why I don't want a repeat evisceration. I mean c-section. Yeah same difference right?
Barring all that drama though my primary job in life right now is to continue on as I've been doing so far. You figure for a minimum of 40 weeks my body is not my own. I am an incubator at the whim of whatever hormone my body decides to pump in volume at any given point in time. My first pregnancy I only had a food craving once somewhere in my second trimester. I suddenly was drinking milk by the gallon and I hate milk. It lasted a few weeks and was really weird. This time around I've been getting random food cravings like daily. I know it's one of those pregnancy norm things but I find it really strange. One day it was asparagus. For the whole day. Oddly I did not get asparagus that day but I did eat a lot of veggies. The veggies have been a go to thing also. Fruit to a lesser degree too. This is a good sign I think since only once was I craving french fries. I rather that kind of balance than the opposite right? It could be worse, I could be all into fried foods and sweets. I've been on the big side of pregnancy though (6-9 months) and I do not have any room for excess fat. I'm waaay too short for that luxury. Violet, you're turning violet! I understand all you really need though is an extra 100-300 calories a day to grow one of these suckers. I figure with my 'advanced age' (I love that term) and consequent decreased metabolism I was probably already getting enough as it was. So I've tried to keep it the same just spread out more through the day. Seems to be working so far. We'll see how long that lasts...
28 more to go, I'll be going to the maternal fetal specialists next week because, you know, advanced maternal age...wish me luck!
Barring all that drama though my primary job in life right now is to continue on as I've been doing so far. You figure for a minimum of 40 weeks my body is not my own. I am an incubator at the whim of whatever hormone my body decides to pump in volume at any given point in time. My first pregnancy I only had a food craving once somewhere in my second trimester. I suddenly was drinking milk by the gallon and I hate milk. It lasted a few weeks and was really weird. This time around I've been getting random food cravings like daily. I know it's one of those pregnancy norm things but I find it really strange. One day it was asparagus. For the whole day. Oddly I did not get asparagus that day but I did eat a lot of veggies. The veggies have been a go to thing also. Fruit to a lesser degree too. This is a good sign I think since only once was I craving french fries. I rather that kind of balance than the opposite right? It could be worse, I could be all into fried foods and sweets. I've been on the big side of pregnancy though (6-9 months) and I do not have any room for excess fat. I'm waaay too short for that luxury. Violet, you're turning violet! I understand all you really need though is an extra 100-300 calories a day to grow one of these suckers. I figure with my 'advanced age' (I love that term) and consequent decreased metabolism I was probably already getting enough as it was. So I've tried to keep it the same just spread out more through the day. Seems to be working so far. We'll see how long that lasts...
28 more to go, I'll be going to the maternal fetal specialists next week because, you know, advanced maternal age...wish me luck!
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