Monday, July 13, 2009

Perspective

I was having a not so great Friday last week. Had an incredibly hectic, not horrible, just hectic day at work. I was wrapping everything up at 5pm and got a call from a girlfriend who wanted to bring her family over for dinner at our house. Which is ok, we host them all the time. Sadly though, we don't have our kid with us so it's not really the same. They, on the other hand, have their normal 2 plus 2 more from a previous marriage with them. It's a full house and I allowed things to go on that I normally don't tolerate (dude, WWF and boxing on tv is verboten in my home) and I only lost my patience with their terrorist daughter once. Which is a miracle because as much as they'd like to think their daughter is just like ours they are wrong. I was ok with making dinner but when they all gathered up to go to our community pool I opted to stay and clean up. I needed the time alone, it was Friday for God's sake. Some peace please! I had to stay almost an hour later at work to get stuff done and they were already at my house by the time I got there. Yeah I stayed and cleaned up because that was the way lesser of 2 evils. I had another lovely little realization that night too, my friends pointed out a spot in the ceiling of my dining room (which we never ever use), apparently my master bath shower has a severe leak somewhere and it's ruined the ceiling. Not pleased at all.

OK I'll admit it, I was all ready to have my own little pity party. Me, a book, the couch, and maybe a dog or two up there with me if I was feeling generous. No such luck. They were not gone for 10 minutes when I got a phone call. My girlfriend from San Diego was calling. On the brink of tears. Oh so not good. In a nutshell? Her marriage has been falling apart for awhile now and her husband has now emotionally separated himself from her and their 3 kids (2 are his, young ones). Their house was in the process of being foreclosed upon and they have until the 30th when it goes up for public auction. She's been battling depression so she has no job (lost it when she was on medical leave) and her husband worked in construction, a career that died when the housing industry died a horrible death in California. She's not eligible for government help because they tried and the list goes on. Again, short story, she's alone with 3 children, 2 dogs and a cat as of the 30th of this month. No job, no home. Talk about ruining my pity party of antisocial-ness on a Friday night.

I gave her several suggestions on exactly what to do about the dogs. Do not criticize me for helping her try and organize the dogs first. Other dog owners understand this (get on board with me here Trailboss). If she can get that under control it will give her the confidence to get the rest of her life together, there is a method to my madness. Once she takes that first step I think she'll start getting on top of things rather than waiting until it's too late. Which it is dangerously close to being anyway.

I did not ignore the fact that she needs to find a place to live either, sheesh people there, are kids involved here. We are too far away to give any help but there are people out there, people we have been friends with for many a decade, that would never leave them homeless. It's not ideal but really, how in the world can you leave your friends totally high and dry? I don't think I could even imagine doing that. Don't ask me about what the hell her husband is thinking because I have at last 2 friends with 'husbands' in their lives that treat their wives and children with less respect than something they found on the bottom of their shoe. It says as much about them as human beings as anything else. Plus I was always raised to take care of myself, if anything came down I know for a fact that I could hack it on my own, if I can do that and help take care of a friend I would not even hesitate to help out. Dis ones spouse and children? I don't freaking think so. Unimaginable.

So my Friday, which I was all down about not being left alone to lounge after a long day at work, which has a huge house downer of a ceiling/tile job, where I had wanted to sit and be left alone, had a homeless friend thing thrown at me. Priorities, perspective. The universe was telling me to suck it up, don't you think? I here ya universe, I got the message. At least I have a home to do repairs on. It could be way hella worse right?

5 comments:

Trailboss said...

May people tend to leave the situation with their animals last but it is a very important thing to do asap. So glad you were able to give her advise on this. It is a sad tale that is going on in every city, county and state in the US. Things like that really make us think of what we have and how grateful we should be. I thank God every night for blessing me and my family with the 'small' things we have. I hope things work out for your friend. Thank goodness she has you to keep her head on straight. Lord knows it is probably spinning out of control about now.

MichelleSG said...

Lord knows it's bad when they come to me for help. Seriously, of the whole bunch of people that make up our group of friends I am well known as the serious hard ass. When one of us falls apart they seem to gravitate towards. I still have no clue as to why this occurs. Like I am the one who resides at rock bottom so when you hit it I may as well be the one you come to? I dunno. And I knew you'd be on board with the dog thing, only us dog lovers totally understand that. In my book once you get the dogs settled someplace you can get to work on the really hard stuff. After the dogs are placed it's all about crawling your way back out of the hole right?

Stephanie said...

I just wrote this really long, boring comment about how you're such a good person and a much better woman than I... and then my boss walked by and I had to hurry and close my screen and lost the whole thing. So... I think you're amazing and your friends are lucky to have you in their lives and I really hope all works out with your friend in California. I can't imagine going through a similar situation and my heart goes out to her.

MichelleSG said...

Haha! Story of my life. I share an office with my boss (long story) and my monitor faces him. Must be careful with how much one slacks off when boss is in office...

Kimberly said...

perspective...amen!