Varmit problems

We live in a subdivision in suburbia, it still has a wee bit of wild life left over. Not a lot, just a wee little bit. Rabbits mostly and the squirrels that normally live closer to the green belts. My neighbor came up to me yesterday and told me that I have 3 baby squirrels living in my front doorway. ? We don't use the front door, we are one of the few families that actually park both cars in the garage so we always go in through the garage door. Consequently I have no idea how long these 3 adolescent squirrels have been mooching off of my porch. Sadly they are totally unafraid of humans and small dogs. My neighbor figured out there were their because their maltese came over and was sniffing at them. And they didn't move. He thinks someone has been feeding them because they don't go out and forage, they just hang out on my porch. I went out late last night and sure enough they were sleeping out there. On the ground. Suicidal much? I don't think they are long for this world if they don't run from predators. They get irritated with you if you get within 2 feet of them. 2 feet. Hello I can snatch them up fast enough from that distance and there isn't much they could do about it. Not that I would mind you. They don't even run when we hose them down, yeah we tried that yesterday.

So anyone know of a good way to get these buggers back up in a tree and not mooching off my mortgage?

This really is how close I can get to the bugger. I don't know how to use the zoom on my camera so it's real life close.



See him here on the right halfway up the column? I wanted to show this picture so you know where they live in relation to my front door. They live on the inside of that column he's attached to which is where the above picture was taken.