Friday, October 17, 2008

Angry White Female

So the kid is in after school care. Just about every day I go to pick her up she has the same counselor, a young woman, comes to me to give me a report of some such when I arrive. She scraped her knee, she tore a piece of paper, blah blah blah, she needs a band aid. My dd is a DRAMA QUEEN, she gets it from her father. I know, I know, she should have gotten it from her mother but she didn’t. Anyone that knows her parents knows this, she got it from her father. It’s also where she got her fashion sense, good thing too because if she got it from me she’d never make through her high school years unless she joined the mens hockey team. No lie. God’s honest truth, he does her hair better than me too, he’s just fashion conscious like that. You can tell the mornings that he gets her ready, her hair is nice and she doesn’t have food on her face. Oh and she’s there on time. Hey at least I’m honest. I get here there eventually and she’s fed. And I make sure the cafeteria bill is paid she gets lunch. He actually makes her lunch all fancy the way she likes it. If she wants a homemade lunch when I take her to school she actually makes it herself, it’s amazing. Did you know 6 yr olds can make their own lunches? Necessity, the mother of invention, I’m tellin ya. Or rather bad mothers, they make for self sufficient children? Something like that.
But anyway, after school care, this time I had notification that the dd had been attacked. Yeah apparently some girl named Trinity had not wanted to share something and had grabbed my dd by the front of her collar and tossed her around. Damn that child was lucky my dh had not been there to pick the kid up, he would have been rabid. My dd was all forlorn about the matter, like woe is me. I, of course, asked her what they were fighting over, and she just mentioned some sort of thing that had been found by the kids, a glove of some sort of little consequence and was not a matching set and did not have an owner? Yeah, real important stuff to fight over, ahh elementary school yard brawls. She did mention that Trinity doesn’t like her at all though, interesting that she’s never mentioned this girl before. So I asked her what she did which apparently was nothing. We don’t have a terribly aggressive child. Unbeknownst to most of you I’m sure (hahaha) I’m a kind of dominant personality and I don’t tolerate much rif raf from the child or any one in my home for that matter. It does have it’s consequences, she doesn’t assert herself when push comes to shove. Now you get her in a public speaking situation and that’s a whole different matter. She’ll give you a lecture like nobody’s business. You’ll get the ”Excuse me, it’s my turn to speak” all nice and proper like a lady. Now what she needs to learn is what to do when pushed. When that person doesn’t listen to the excuse me it’s my turn to speak and you have to give them the what for. It takes a bit more social experience to learn what to do in these situations so I’m ok with the fact that she doesn’t know what to do yet. Personally these are the times where I shine but of course it’s taken me a good long while to get there and she hasn’t been able to see me at my bright and shiny moments. Or maybe loud and scary is a better descriptive for them. Regardless it takes a bit of flair and we are going to working on the girls social aggression skills for situations such as these.
When the dh got home that evening we told him about the Trinity altrication and he was flabbergasted, as I expected. So I told him maybe it was time to teach the kid some offensive/defensive skills and he agreed but then asked me if I was ok with the consequences. ? And so I was like what? Apparently he had been picked on as a youngin and his mom had told his dad to teach him the same thing (his dad was a Marine, he knew a few fighting skills) and the dh proceeded to kick but the next time a spat came up at school. Consequently he got in trouble at school. And his mom got upset. ? His mom, the pacifist. My answer tothat? Make your bed you’d better be ready to lay in it babe. If that happens to my kid I’m going to tell the school where they can stick it. Hell I’ll tell them just how far up they can stick it too. No honey I’m not worried about the consequences of teaching the kid to kick another child’s ass if she gets attacked. If I was there and had time I’d make popcorn and cheer her on, it’s not like the girls are actually going to hurt each other.

So we tried teaching the kid what to do if another girl grabbed her collar. Hah! Yeah that worked real well. Not. She’s not a very aggressive child, did I mention that? Yeah I sometimes wonder if there’s much of me in her other than a bit of facial features. She’s got her daddy’s body, his drama queen, his left handedness, a lot of his odd behaviors, stubbornness, quirks, did I mention DQ? And none of my aggression. None. Yeah we tried, didn’t show her anything really attack like just like push right here and she was not going for it. Kids everywhere are taking karate lessons and we can’t get ours to do a dang thing. Odd that she’s mine…

4 comments:

m0to said...

The defense worked for my friends daughter. A boy tried to look up her skirt. She broke his nose with a swift punch to the face. He was proud of his little girl!

Kimberly said...

and I would be there w/ the popcorn when you told the school just how far to stick it. yep, I love drama (as long as I am not in it) and gossip.
girl w/ that swimmers body she could kick butt if she wanted. I guess you are going to have to teach her to fight more with words unless she is up for some defense classes?

MichelleSG said...

I think the dh is wanting to send he to Krav Maga classes. I'm not so sure how game she'll be but we'll see. I'm sure I'll be able to teach her to fight with words just fine but that takes time. Verbal sparring is a fine art form that is learned over time. School yard brawling, well we can teach her that in a much shorter time span.

Train Wreck said...

Oh I hate school drama! I have told my kids , do not pick fights, do not be a bully,if someone tries to pick a fight walk off and ignore them. If they persist, and ppush or hit my child, my kids have full reign to defend themselves! I stand behind them 100% I won't have my children bullied. I love the scene in "The Hand that Rocks the Cradle!" That would be me! Kids are too mean now a days, with no punishment from their parents. Good for you trying to help your daughter help herself. I hope that other girl leaves her alone. Your child sounds sweet.