Monday, July 28, 2008
2 friggin 50 am
Yeah that's right, 2:50 am, that's when I was up this morning. That's just after the hubby's alarm goes off to get going in the morning. We have 3 dogs and like us, each of them has their nuances, or shall we call them foibles? Yeah, lets call them foibles. Jaynie's you know, he's a loon, a ticking time bomb. Corbie is an adorable moron raised in a kennel which makes him just this side of impossible to potty train perfectly. And Roxy is our stray we adopted from the ghetto pound totally emaciated that was obviously back yard bred 60 times and dumped. She's terrified of thunder storms and hand guns, why we don't know. Just the sight or smell of a hand gun gets her trembling. We think she was a back yard breeder dog of a gang banger that was beaten a lot, poor thing. Anyway last night we were going to bed and the stupid little dog decides he's going up to bed and realizes that he needs to pee. So rather than coming downstairs to the back door to be let out with the other dogs he goes to the carpet in front of our master bedroom bathroom door (why? why not go into the bathroom where it's tile?) and pee. And while I'm letting the other dogs out to go to the bathroom I her the dh swearing about the little dog peeing on the carpet and him having to bust out the carpet cleaner and blah blah blah the high light of his evening etc etc, yeah. OK. And the night goes on. One of the only things that keeps the dogs alive in our household, the Bissell. We have carpet upstairs. If we were rich it'd be hardwood or laminate like we have downstairs, until then it's the carpet that came with the house. And the ever faithfull Bissell. Side note, for whatever reason while Roxy is house trained she is also vindictive. When we leave she finds carpet and pees on it. She does not do this to hard wood or tile, only carpet. Dog trainers tell you that dogs do not do vindictive things. I would believe this if she did this on tile or hard wood but she only does this to carpet. She's a bitch. So she's gotten in this habit of asking to go out at 2 whatever in the morning to go potty when the dh gets up and I'm ok with this. I mean she's probably had 50+ babies in her life and her girlie parts are probably just not what they used to be ya know? Hell he's up anyway what does he care right? We've got a baby gate in front of our bedroom door to keep the dogs in our room so they don't wander out in the middle of the night or wee hours of the morning and wake the kid too early (they know if she gets up we have to get up, damn Jaynie). This morning I notice at 2:45 that Roxie is doing the pee pee super dance in front of the gate and the dh is in the bathroom and the door is closed. The pee pee dance is getting more and more frantic by the second and there is no way anyone is going to be able to get that dog through the gate down the stairs and out the back door. Oh and the alarm turned off too, nope not going to happen. Oh and me up out of bed? At 2:40? Huh, no. So I mumble, loudly, HUUUNNNYYY! And he stumbles out of the bathroom, WWHHHAAT? As Roxy is squatting and peeing on the floor of the bedroom. He then begins to swear again and curse our incontinent dog household or somesuch which I find terrible humor in at that hour. Not like he's going to clean it up, he's got to drive 64 miles to some piece of shit job and play with the convicts for the next 12.5 hours. Pfft I'll take dog pee in the carpet for $500 thanks. I managed to lay in bed until exactly 2:50 until I couldn't take it anymore. The thought of that pee soaking into the carpet pad just freaks me out. So I get up and put the carpet cleaner back together, it was already set up and clean from what, 5 hours ago when Corbie last pissed on the carpet 5 ft from the new spot anyway right, damnit? I was done cleaning by exactly 2:55 Damn bitch, why do we own dogs again? I should have her urine checked, she probably has a bladder infection or something because it smelled HORRID. I was a vet tech for 5 years in my college days, one of the things you learned is that things have normal and abnormal smells. I could tell by the smell that came up through the carpet cleaner that something is NOT RIGHT with that dog's pee. TMI right? It's my blog, ya'll should be used to that by now.