Wednesday, July 30, 2008

Clean slate

Do you ever feel like it'd be easier if you could just start over with a clean slate? No history? No past phone numbers or addresses so people can find you. No past emails either. No spam folders, nothing. Just start over from scratch. Sure you couldn't get a cell phone or rent an apartment because you don't have a credit history but really who cares? I remember renting a room in college by shoveling out stalls in a barn, did just fine with out a phone. Still survived. God life was sooo much simpler then. Of course I didn't have a husband or a kid either but I did have school and health insurance so there was some stress. I think my mom co-signed on the car loan. Somebody had to have I'm sure. But I didn't have a phone or a computer and life did go on. I did shovel a few stalls on the weekend for a reduced rent, I worked afternoons as a vet tech to pay the rest of the bills and then there was the student loans to pay for school and the bulk of everything else. No my parents paid for nothing. I was not a trust fund baby, my parents were poor. They raised me in a hippie neighborhood and smoked a ton of weed throughout my mom's pregnancy and my childhood years. The doctors said my AVM and resulting aneurysm was a birth defect, I wonder if my mom actually feigned surprise when the doctors told her that? My guess would be no. I'd ask the dh but bets have it he was not looking at her face plus she's not worth the effort.
Still the point I was getting at was that the older you get the more crap you gather. What's the phrase? Something about gathering wool? Or the stone and moss? Damn I totally forget the me out here people!!! I was trying to get the kid to try some of her clothes on this evening so we could figure out what clothes we need to buy her in preparation for the new school year. She grew like 15" over the summer but at least all the pants we last got her were capris so they all still work! Sadly though she had emptied out all, and I do mean all, of her toys out onto her floor. Sometime at the beginning of the summer. And has not put them back in. All of the games she has disassembled, things with cards like Cranium, and spread out everywhere so they are all useless. Her dad and I have been awful about keeping up with her and riding her about cleaning. It's our fault for not being more strict about being clean, we let her get away with it. If we made her be neat it would not be such a horrid chore. Now it's like a serious punishment and no one can handle it. Too much to handle for any one much less a 6 yr old. There's too much crap and no where to put it all. I try to put it away but you can't throw any of it away when she is there or she has a fit. The dh is terrible about it, he will stack it all in a pile and then leave it there. One time like 6 months ago he put aside all the shoes that did not fit her anymore against one side of her room. And guess what happened to them? They sat there until they got thrown around into the rest of the mess that is her room. Why bother? What was the point? Why waste the time and energy?
Can I just go back to shoveling out horse shit from a stall please? It's way easier than the kid's toys. The kid went to the zoo today and I think her feet smell worse today than the manure.
Can I return the crazy dog, the stupid dog, and the incontinent dog? Cause the wet spot in the stall is easier to clean than dog pee in this frackin carpet.
And the dh, he's just plain old hard to train. I get him close and then he thinks joining the military is cool or some odd shit and I have to start looking for a divorce lawyer. Do you have any idea how tiring this is getting? I am getting way too old for this game. I was over this a decade ago.
Can I start over again please?


Kimberly said...

go to my blog, consider your self awarded!u know how much I love your blog!

m0to said...

The rolling stone gathers no moss.

I've been purging for the last six months. Its kinda nice not having all that crap around the house.

When I was on the moto trip I fantasized about just parking the bike somewhere, leaving all the stuff there, and walking away from it all. hehe